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Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

Subject:End of the Month Music Bitchfest - April 2012
Time:4:19 pm.
BITCH-CUITS AND GRAVY.

Beck
I think Beck might be mocking me...
Over the past month, he has released two covers: the kind of creepy oldie, "I Only Have Eyes For You" and "Corinna, Corinna".
He's managed to make the former even creepier and the latter features him and his acoustic guitar, nothing else.
While neither is a new album, I do enjoy hearing his voice.
He's playing a bunch of festivals this summer and maybe he'll tell his fans about a new album...or that he's retiring.

Nine Inch Nails
"Mulholland test drive of the finished new HTDA record".
Fuck you, Twitter, allowing artists to be even more vague than they used to be.
What the fuck does this mean?
That he played the album in his car while driving up and down Mulholland Drive?
That he went door to door playing the album for those who were interested?
Fuck!
Q1 of 2011 is lasting a HELL of a long time.

They Might Be Giants
Although they are no longer touring, the band is anything but silent.
Each week since their tour ended, they've been releasing their free podcast, stuffed with rare, live, weird and very weird tracks.
They're hard at work on the 2012 Instant Fan Club ringtones and their new album and EPs.
Plus, the IFC tumblr account, manned by Flans, is working with about 24 of turnaround time.
I'm running out of things to ask him.
The first of the 2012 IFC swag should be arriving soon...


Just at the start of the month, both Marilyn Manson and Garbage released music videos for their new singles.
And I WATCHED THEM.
First, "Blood For Poppies" by Garbage.
Somehow this radio friendly "hi everyone, we're back!" song feels incongruous with the flickering, black and white film grain of the video.
Oh, maybe because it is.
The video itself is an homage to a  whole bunch of old films which I can't remember from my college film classes.
On the whole, it isn't anything spectacular, although everyone looks great.


As for Marilyn Manson's "No Reflection" video?
Well, there are some vaguely Mormon overtones, some chicks sexy dancing while Manson holds (not plays, but holds) a guitar, and then all the girls at this dinner party smash up the place and then die.
Perhaps because they heard the whole of Manson's brand new album, Born Villain, which just came out on Cooking Vinyl Records!!!!
Honestly, this looks like it could have been made in the early 2000's.
There is NO new ground broken here.
Although I do like Manson's make up.


Switching gears to an artist with talent: for Record Store Day I bought a copy of St. Vincent's exclusive 7" vinyl release.
It features two songs, "KROKODIL" and "GROT".
They are loud and harsh and explosive and screaming and I love them...although I'm probably going to get them converted to mp3s because A.) I don't break out my record player that often and B.) I can barely understand what the fuck she is saying.
Did I mention the screaming?


Also, coming at the tail end of May, there is a new Scissor Sisters album titled Magic Hour.
Which, I think, has something to do with handjobs at sunset...I think.
After I found out this was happening (the upcoming release not the handjobs...although I did just say 'upcoming release'...), I relistened to the three albums the Sisters have put out thus far.
While Ta-Dah and Night Work both have some really good stuff on there, neither comes close to their debut, self-titled album.
I've heard a couple tracks off Magic Hour, namely, "Shady Love" and "Only The Horses" and, based on those, I'm sort of predicting the same thing; a solid album with some strong stuff and some forgettable stuff, none of which holds a candle to their first release.
And, honestly, I'm fine with that, as their first album is AMAZING.
Here's hoping.


Around the end of April, the music video for "Only The Horses" appeared on scissorsisters.com.
It features horses and paint.


Stuff I've Been Overlistening To

Marilyn Manson - Murderers Are Getting Prettier Every Day
Not that the song is so amazing, I just want it to make the rest of the songs around it better.
Music doesn't have an associative property, does it?

Nine Inch Nails - Get Down, Make Love
Originally a cover recorded for their "Sin" single, NIN started playing this live on their first tour in 1988, and, aside from their Lights In The Sky tour in 2008, have played it on every tour since.
The studio version was produced by and features Al Jourgensen of Ministry on guitar and, sorry Freddie, it's better than the original.
Or at least a lot angrier.
I took myself on a tour of the song's live performance evolution over the years and have determined that my favorite version is from the Self Destruct tour from the mid-90's.
The song remains whimsical and a bit silly, but with the fury that permeated that entire tour, a fury that's further enhanced by bassist Danny Lohner and guitarist Robin Finck screaming "Get down!" and "Make love!" at the top of their lungs in the background.
I also enjoy Reznor changing the line, "You say 'it's enough', looks like it's too much" to "You say 'it's enough', looks like it's too big".
Heh heh...dick joke.

David Bowie - I'm Afraid Of Americans
Not really.
I just listened to the EP that has every interpretation of this song that Trent Reznor (and Ice Cube?) could come up with.
Plus a shitty drum 'n' bass remix than none of them had ANYTHING to d with.
But three looks better than two, so yeah.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:A review of Marilyn Manson's "Born Villain"
Time:3:42 pm.
For the last 8 years, being a fan of Marilyn Manson has been like being in an abusive relationship.
I remember the good old days of Portrait Of An American Family and Antichrist Superstar and his next few albums...but then came Lest We Forget...a best of. That was a slap in the face, but, hey, some record labels require a "Best Of" in their contracts and, I could reason away a slap. I mean, it isn't like he really hit me...he slapped me...and he was tired and I was nagging him about taking out the trash...I sort of deserved it... But then, in 2007, Marilyn Manson released Eat Me, Drink Me which was, for the purpose of this allegory, the shove down the stairs that caused a miscarriage; which is what that album happened to be...a miscarriage. But a miscarriage that could squall off-key and spout bad puns all while sounding exactly the same throughout. Which is impressive for a dead fetus, but not for an established musician. In 2009, he released The High End Of Low*, which was about as pleasant as a broken wrist and bruises that last a month; not as bad as a miscarriage, but certainly not enjoyable.
When I heard there was a new album stumbling down Manson's absinthe-and-hyperbole-soaked pipeline...damn it...I couldn't help myself.
I thought, "Well, if Twiggy is involved, maybe it could be good..." and "I love Chris Vrenna's stuff, maybe that'll find a place on the album" and "Manson's dad sure seems to think this is going to be a great album...why would he lie?"
Will I never learn?
Well, the new album, Born Villain, is now out and I have listened to it and I'm here to tell you...it isn't as bad as getting beaten up by your significant other. Please don't think this is a compliment, most of this album is just the seemingly random croaking, hysterical screaming and de-lib-er-ate-o-ver-e-nun-ci-a-tion of bad word play that might seem original and inspired to a fourth grader that we've come to expect from Marilyn Manson over the past eight years. And, I'll solve a mystery for you: know why the songs on this album are longer than average? Two reason, first, because a bunch of them have inordinately long intros consisting of uninteresting noise or, in one sad, silly case, a quote from none other than William Shakespeare, and second, because Manson sings stuff over and over and over, repeating himself as if he were playing for the elderly or children with ADHD. "Yes, Marilyn, we heard you the first time and we weren't impressed then, repeating the same lyrics six more times isn't going to grant us some amazing insight, it's just going to make us skip to the next track." Some examples of this "style choice" can be found in "Children of Cain" (which almost has some cool stuff going on) and "Disengaged", which both have sections where Manson is, literally, just rambling like a (very disturbed) three year old until he runs out of steam before repeating what he just said...again and again and again...*sigh*...I pity anyone buying this album on vinyl...
Oh, and keep first time listeners away from the pair of shit Twinkies that is "Pistol Whipped" and "The Flowers of Evil" unless you never want them to take anything Marilyn Manson has ever done seriously...ever. The former, because it is loaded with his awful pun babbling and silly turns of phrase spoken slowly and frequently as if they are the most mindblowingly poignant sentiments ever expressed by man ("I want to have your ache/and beat you too")**, and the latter because, aside from the horrible, repetitive lyrics, Manson's voice just sounds like garbage on it. Look, Marilyn Manson will never be compared, vocally, to Celine Dion, but he used to have some semblance of vocal control over the tone, pitch and timbre of his screeching, yowling, husking and wailing; those days are long gone. Just search for "Marilyn Manson live 2012" on You tube and enjoy the train wreck.
"But I thought you said this album wasn't as bad as getting beaten up by your significant other."
True, and here is why.
There are four, count them, four good tracks on this album.
Namely, "Hey Cruel World", the regrettably-titled "Slo-Mo-Tion", "The Gardener" and "Murderers Are Getting Prettier Every Day".
"Cruel World", the opener, while repetitive, increases the energy behind each repetition until exploding in a genuinely catchy chorus with some of the best Manson screaming we've heard in a while, a great track to re-announce his presence. "Slo-Mo-Tion" equates itself in my mind to Peter Gabriel's "The Barry Williams Show" and it works. This isn't Manson screaming and crying about how the whole world is this and he is the destroyer of that, it's him as a greasy talk show host...which is believable. No matter how much hot air he blows up fans' asses, he'll always be more Howard Stern than Hitler in his philosophies, manifestos and proclamations. "The Gardener", the lyrics of which stand out from the rest of the album as they are less silly, repetitive and "clever", are spoken over a simple beat and, rather than addressing bullshit effluvia from Manson's assbrain, focus instead on a woman and a simple metaphor involving flowers. Always good to know your limitations. "Murderers" has a great beat (thank you, Chris Vrenna) and a jagged, hard sound reminiscent of Antichrist Superstar (thank you, Jesus). Add that to a chorus that's shrieked at the world in general ("Fall on your knees and hear the horrid voices of someone else's angels") and, folks, you've got a pretty solid Manson song.
And, although there is some of Manson's lyrical diarrhea in this happy handful, I have figured out that when it's being tossed off like an errant thought like in "Gardener" or screamed at the top of Manson's tattered lungs like in "Murderers", it's not only forgivable, but sometimes...it actually works.
Another up side: overall, the music on this album is better than anything Manson has put out in years. Songs don't blur together in my mind as much as with previous releases and some have some pretty cool aspects to them...a fact I am attributing pretty much solely to the use of Chris Vrenna (of Nine Inch Nails and tweaker) for programming, percussion, synthesizers and keyboards; but, a nice, well-designed car full of severed dog penises is still a car full of severed dog penises.
And I'm not cleaning them up.
 
In the end, does Born Villain harken back to the glory days of the well-written, fully-realized, relevant music from Manson's early career?
No, of course not, but it's better than a handful of broken fingers and a jawful of loose teeth.
Maybe next time, Marilyn...maybe next time...
* Or, as I came to call it, "The High End Of Low Expectations". ZING!
**The first time I heard this line I actually said, out loud, "Oh, go and utterly fuck yourself, you grade school poet laureate."
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

Subject:End of the Month Music Bitchfest - March 2012
Time:7:53 pm.

COURTNEY LOVE ON HER PERIOD

Beck

I’m…I’m sorry…what? A new what? A new…Beck song?!
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Yes.
March 20th, Beck released “Looking For A Sign”, a song recorded for the soundtrack for the new comedy Jeff, Who Lives At Home.
It’s an okay song, feels a bit Mutations, a bit Sea Change.
Nothing to get too excited about, sadly.
But, hey, at least he isn’t dead.
Unless he died and his label released this song posthumously.
Which would be awful.

Cake
Cake released a pretty half-assed video for one of my favorite songs off their latest album. It's 95% fans lip syncing to the song and maybe 5% flickered clips of the band smiling at how clever they are when it comes to music videos that A. don't cost them anything, B. are eco-friendly and C. make them look clever.
Guys, it was pretty novel in 2001, when you did something singular and wacky and non-formulaic for the "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" video, but some time has passed and you're not going to reinvent the medium so HURRY UP AND MAKE A NEW GOD DAMN ALBUM YOU LAZY HIPPY CUNTRAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They Might Be Giants
Finishing up their Join Us tour with an amazing show at Terminal 5, They Might Be Giants have certainly earned a rest…which they have declined to take.
Between now and early 2013, the band will release THREE brand new EP’s (two adult and one for kids) and a brand new album (expected early 2013).
THAT is what I’m talking about.
Looking forward to periodic updates from TMBG regarding there “working vacation” and the sporadic perks from becoming a Super President member of this year’s They Might Be Giants Instant Fan Club.
To read said review of said TMBG show, scroll down said.

Nine Inch Nails
So...I guess...maybe Reznor forgot about the new How To Destroy Angels album...?


On March 7th, Los Angeles’ KROQ played the first single off the new (totally real and actually coming out) album by
Marilyn Manson.

The song is called “No Reflection” and it made, literally, no impression on me.
You ever have that happen?
It’s like you find yourself at the bottom of a page but without being able to remember actually having read it?
This song is like that, but, rather than being distracted and not absorbing the information, as with a book, this was just so…not mentionable.

I gave it a few more tries to see if there was something making it disappear from my mind, but, nope, it’s just not strong enough to leave any sort of impression.
Although, I did, eventually figure out that the chorus sounds almost exactly like the chorus from another forgettable Marilyn Manson song from the equally forgettable “High End Of Low” album, namely “Leave A Scar”.
I would say you should listen to the choruses of both just to see what I mean, but that wouldn’t do anyone any good and you’d have listened to two bad Marilyn Manson songs, so please don’t.
I just hope that “No Reflection” wasn’t the song early reviewers were calling "super catchy… could do the K-ROQ rounds", because, if so, this is going to be yet another squirty fart from Manson’s shitty ass.

On March 23rd, Manson posted the cover art and track listing for his new “effort”.
I’m not even going to bother posting this ridiculous bunch of song titles because you’ll think I just made them up.
I will, however, make an official declaration: the new Marilyn Manson album will be awful.
Not as awful as “Eat Me, Drink Me”, but perhaps as awful or more awful than “The High End Of Low”.
I’m not just basing this on one song and the track list…here’s a quote from Manson regarding his new album: 

It's the first record where I repeat verses. I just sing the words in a different key the next time. I've never done that before, because I've always felt like I needed to write a lot of words in the past …”

Wait…what? No, that’s not how it works. What “key”? What “sing”? You haven’t “sung” in “key” since…ever. You lack that ability.
You have different sounds you’re able to make, mostly pertaining to volume and pitch, but you can’t sing, Marilyn…
You can whisper, growl, scream, croak, bark, yell, husk, howl, screech and squeak…but not sing…
*sigh*
Does ANYONE have this guy’s phone number?
I think we need to talk.


Garbage dropped their first single, “Blood For Poppies”, on the 20th as a free download from their site, www.garbage.com.
And it is VERY…poppy!
BWA HA HAHA HA H AH AH AH AHA HA HA HAHH AH A!!!!!!
No, it’s not that great.
It’s a little too radio friendly (just listen to the bright, shimmery chorus to understand what I mean) and doesn’t stack up to
the majority of their singles they’ve released over the years.

It just doesn’t have that edge usually associated with their music
The band can still play, but nothing about the track really grabbed me.
I’m not judging the book by the cover though as Butch Vig is a god and Shirley Manson is a goddess.
The video for "Blood For Poppies" comes out April 3rd.

At the end of March, the band released their first UK single, "Battle In Me".
Now this, THIS sounds like classic Garbage, but with some modern studio tweaks.
Good stuff.

 
Meanwhile, the E-starved twink buried deep within me (helllooo) had an urge to hear the new Madonna album.
I heard that single and, as much as it made me want to destroy my radio and every device capable of broadcasting said single in a ten miles radius, it was catchy as all get out.
So I listened to the new Madonna album, MDNA, which I thought might have something to do with genetics, but apparently not.

Listening to the new Madonna album can be equated to eating a huge bag of Jolly Ranchers and glitter, then vomiting, then listening to said sparkling, rainbow-colored effluvia while in a club. Her lyrics here reflect nothing of her 12,000 years of pop queendom. In fact, if Britney Spears had recorded and released this album ten years ago, it might have been ground-breaking, but in Madonna’s case…it’s almost like she recalls nothing of her career, it’s like she’s starting over; not in a good or fresh way, on the contrary, it sounds laughably naïve.

This album has depth like a mosquito bite: you scratch it, it feels good in a bad way, then it gets infected and scabby. There are one or two interesting moments on here (“Falling Free” and “I Fucked Up”) and you can not deny the contagious (like the Motaba virus) nature of “Give Me All Your Loving” (I’ll not rape the English language on your behalf, you craggy bint), but I couldn’t help feeling a sense of annoyance while listening to this, as if I were be put upon somehow.

At the end of one of the two songs that grunty, spazzy rapper Nicki Minaj guest stars on, she informs the listener that “there is only one queen” and that “it’s Madonna…bitch.” That last word is almost spat between her gritted teeth, not
sounding emphatic here, like a statement of fact,…only desperate, as if saying it loudly and angrily enough will make it
so…but it won’t. And neither will removing letters from your name.


And, finally, Damon Albarn's latest side project (with Flea and Tony Allen), "Rocket Juice and The Moon", came out on
March 27th.

Okay...maybe I don't like funk, but this whole thing really feels kind of flat.
There are familiar faces from some Gorillaz album guesting on vocal, as well as one or two tracks with Albarn singing (and
every time I hear his voice I picture 2D), but overall nothing is really standing out here.

I'm blaming myself more than the artists involved.
I just don't like Damon Albarn doing funk.
Probably wouldn't like Nine Inch nails doing country either.
I wish this had been something I dug, but, whatever, it's a side project.
Next up: some new Gorillaz.

As it turns out, I haven't been obsessively overlistening to anything this month.
Maybe the medication is working...

Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

Subject:A review of They Might Be Giants at Terminal 5, March 10th, 2012
Time:9:26 pm.
Better late than shut the fuck up and read my review.
Saturday, March 10th marked the end of They Might Be Gants' Join Us tour and their last (real) show until December 2012, and they made it count as such.
Although I and the lovely Christina arrived three hours before doors to attain the best possible placement at Terminal 5, we were among about twenty fifth and sixth in line, respectively.
It was at that point I realized that I'm not as obsessed with They might Be giants as some people think I am...Will.
I also realized that a lot of these people really creep me out and, afterwards, Chris and I had a long discussion about these aspects.
But I won't bore you.
Eventually, we were joined by the Ultimate Tag Team: Jim Potenza and Jen Chua.
We had as good a time one can have in 40 degree weather and, eventually, were allowed in.
Jim and Jen were sent to the rooftop holding area, while Chris and I waited to obtain my special TMBG Instant Fan Club tickets to the show.
Because of a ridiculous lack of communication between the band's people and the venue (with more blame focused on the venue since I've seen this kind of thing work smoother at Madison Square Garden and Terminal 5 is NOT Madison Square Garden) the IFC members were asked to go BACK outside until our names appeared on a list.
While waiting to die slowly of exposure, Sylvia and Bryan showed up and, after a moment of discussion, went inside...the lucky ass bags.
About ten minutes before the normal people were allowed in, the IFC folks got their tickets, special goodie bags (a half-assed t-shirt "designed" by the band's current favorite minimalist graphic designer, Paul Sahre-- think heavily-outlined, day-glo objects placed on a white background and you've got this guy's "style" down pat, MORE window decals and a hand drawn "Certificate of Thanks" for being a member, signed by both Johns, obviously the winner of the bunch) and entrance to the venue.
I am happy to report that we were dead center, on the rail, my favorite place to be at a They Might Be Giants concert.
There was much waiting to be done, but, at some point, Jonathan Coulton hit the stage.
His set was, for the most part, enjoyable and his band totally brought it, playing "Code Monkey", "Still Alive (not as good without GladOS), "Re: Your Brains" and "I Feel Fantastic" as well as "Now I Am An Arsonist" with Suzanne Vega (1).

After a relatively quick set change, TMBG took the stage, opening with "Birdhouse In Your Soul", one of their standards that has yet to get old (for me, at least. Flans once commented in an interview that "if you severed the band members' heads from their bodies, we would still be able to play "Birdhouse"...we're saving that for our final show").
I'm happy to say that I pogoed for the majority of the song, much to the annoyance of the tiny girl to my right, but, seriously, fuck her, if this had been a Nine Inch Nails concert she would have been sliced open and served like smoked salmon where she was.
Then, "Cowtown", the first song Flansburgh and Linnell wrote together, another treat.
Other highlights included a new rendition of "Particle Man" which I'd never heard before and enjoyed immensely (I always marvel at the ways TMBG finds to keep these songs they've been playing for decades sounding fresh), "Snowball In Hell" (which featured an excellent spoken segment performed by the Avatars of They), "Ana Ng", "Don't Let's Start" (always a pleasure), "New York City" (I've probably seen them perform this song fifty times, but not for a few years and it always makes me happy to hear it), "When Will You Die?" (a new song that I hope grows into a live staple...did I already say that?) and just John and John (with an accordion) singing "How Can I Sing Like A Girl?".
Only two flaws on an otherwise perfect gem of an evening were fucking goddamn "Damn Good Times" and the starting-to-get-old show closer "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)".
I can think of, literally forty other TMBG songs I'd rather have in place of the former and about a dozen closers to replace the latter.
I also want them to start doing Factory Showroom shows and John Henry shows...with a FULL horn section, not just Mark "Smugman" Pender.
Anyway, yeah, amazing show; miles better than their lackluster 30th anniversary show back in January.
They're taking a working break as far as touring until December when they plan to do some "holiday shows", so I guess I'll be there, and they have a new album they are currently working on slated for an early 2013 release.
Once again, They Might Be Giants have delivered on the live front, no questions asked.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:A Mini-Review of Madonna's "MDNA"
Time:4:27 pm.

So, the E-starved twink buried deep within me (helllooo) had an urge to hear the new Madonna album.

I heard that single and, as much as it made me want to destroy my radio and every device capable of broadcasting said single in a ten miles radius, it was catchy as all get out.

So I listened to the new Madonna album, MDNA, which I thought might have something to do with genetics, but apparently not.

Listening to the new Madonna album can be equated to eating a huge bag of Jolly Ranchers and glitter, then vomiting, then listening to said sparkling, rainbow-colored effluvia while in a club. Her lyrics here reflect nothing of her 12,000 years of pop queendom. In fact, if Britney Spears had recorded and released this album ten years ago, it might have been ground-breaking, but in Madonna’s case…it’s almost like she recalls nothing of her career, it’s like she’s starting over; not in a good or fresh way, on the contrary, it sounds laughably naïve.

This album has depth like a mosquito bite: you scratch it, it feels good in a bad way, then it gets infected and scabby. There are one or two interesting moments on here (“Falling Free” and “I Fucked Up”) and you can not deny the contagious (like the Motaba virus) nature of “Give Me All Your Loving” (I’ll not rape the English language on your behalf, you craggy bint), but I couldn’t help feeling a sense of annoyance while listening to this, as if I were be put upon somehow.

At the end of one of the two songs that grunty, spazzy rapper Nicki Minaj guest stars on, she informs the listener that “there is only one queen” and that “it’s Madonna…bitch.” That last word is almost spat between her gritted teeth, not sounding emphatic here, like a statement of fact,…only desperate, as if saying it loudly and angrily enough will make it so…but it won’t. And neither will removing letters from your name.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

Subject:End Of The Month Music Bitchfest - February 2012
Time:10:47 pm.

BITCH NACHOS.

Nine Inch Nails

On February 11th, How To Destroy Angels finished mixing their new, full length album.
So…there’s that.

Beck
Mr. Hansen will be performing at the Governor’s Ball this June.
He also “worked on” designing some Oliver Peoples sunglasses which you can buy for just $595.
At this point, I’d hand him the money personally just so I can punch him in the dick.
Fuck your sunglasses, DESIGN SOME FUCKING MUSIC.


On February 23rd, Gorillaz released a new track called “Do Ya Thing”, featuring Andre 3000 of Outkast and James Murphy of the
recently defunct LCD Soundsystem.

It’s free on www.converse.com and it’s fucking awesome.
One of the best verses from Andre 3000 since The Love Below; lots of energy.
Catchy, ass-shakin’ beats and happy, blippy keys make this an excellent Gorillaz track; hopefully indicative of a new album, but, one can never nail down Gorillaz.
Like I said before: Damon Albarn just loves to have fun and do stuff.
And this track is both: fun and stuff.
Go and get it.
And then there’s the video which dropped just yesterday.
In it, literally nothing happens.
It’s amazing.
You can also find that on converse.com.

Also, in less than a month, Damon Albarn’s NEW side project with Flea and Tony Allen, Rocketjuice and The Moon, will be released.
Very much looking forward to that as well.

And…oh my goodness gracious…
Marilyn Manson posted on his journal about a week ago that he is just beginning his new world tour…he’s calling it…the “Hey Cruel
World…Tour”.

One more time: the "Hey Cruel World…Tour”.
Ladies and gentlemen, Marilyn Manson is now a pubescent girl.
Also, I found some more details about his album, “Born Villain”, which, based on his tour schedule, will have to be out in the U.S. by
the end of April, or else he’ll be performing songs that no one has ever heard.

Mostly, just the names of some songs.
By the way, the names of these songs don’t make me feel better about this album.
Book by its cover and all that, but, as we all know, it’s a cruel world…tour.

  • Overneath (The Path of Misery)
  • No Reflection
  • S-Low Mo-Ti-on

Let me be clear: my hopes are not up, especially since the first title sounds like the over-angsty reflections of a mascara-slathered faux
cutter, the second like a reject from some shitty vampire show…which it is, and the third like some awful “surrealist” spoken word that
Manson wrote while “inspired” by the tooth-rotting excess of absinthe he imbibes each day.

Or, more likely, based on the majority of his last two albums, three songs that sounds so much alike he might as well not have bothered
to give them individual titles.

So, no, my hopes are not up, they are buried in a time capsule with “Portrait of An America Family” and “Antichrist Superstar”, and
THAT is why I’m going to listen to this album at least once.

Maybe.
Some random web site claims that the new (and, again, TOTALLY REAL) Marilyn Manson album will be released on May 1st.

Garbage posted a video with a snippet of their first single, “I Hate Love”.
On Valentine’s Day.
How very rock and roll.
Hopefully, this was just the chorus, as it sounds kind of…repetitive.
Can’t really tell anything at all about the album based on said snippet, but at least this is proof that there actually is an album
Marilyn, I’m looking at you…

The band shot a video for “I Hate Love” which should be out soon.


During the month of February, I’ve found myself listening to a few songs over and over.
I have listed them here and might continue to do so.

St. Vincent – Your Lips Are Red
From her first album, “Marry Me”. I dismissed most of this album, but there are a few really solid tracks. Landmines, Paris Is Burning,
The Apocalypse Song and this one among them. There’s a barely restrained fury in the first half of this song that makes one afraid of
this 95 pound waif, it’s just terrifying; a great juxtaposition with the last half.

Really wish I hadn’t hesitated in buying tickets to see her at Webster Hall. A mistake I do not intend to make again.

Clams Casino – Waterfalls
Not a TLC cover. This is third and most amazing track from Clams Casino’s “Rainforest” EP. The whole EP is pretty amazing and has a monstrous, enveloping feel to it. Also, each song is just the right length. This is electronic music and artists in that genre tend to…ramble. But I don’t think there’s a song longer than four minutes on this EP. This track is what I want the new Nine Inch Nails to sound like. It won’t happen, but that should give you some indication as to how much I enjoyed it. Another way to describe the music on this release: This is what cyborg ice vampires listen to while fucking in the rain.

Prick - Other People
From their first (and only good) album in 1995. Four of the tracks, including this one, were produced by Trent Reznor and it shows
clearly on Other People. Very mid-90’s industrial with a few Reznor tweaks that make it stand out (some gentle synth to soften the
driving, pounding beat). There’s the incessant bass/drum pulse through the whole song, exploding briefly for the chorus and getting
turned completely on its head during the electro-synth bridge that sound straight off of “Further Down The Spiral”. Interscope
dropped these guys after their first album didn’t make them enough money so they didn’t make a new one until 2002. It’s called “The
Wreckard” and it’s awful.

It might have been cool to see what lead singer, Kevin McMahon and Reznor could have come up with for a second attempt, but, thems the breaks.

Gorillaz – Do Ya Thing
Can’t stop.
Neither will you.

Cavalcade of Links!!!

Gorillaz’ “Do Ya Thing” music video
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNeF30RverQ
 
Download “Do Ya Thing” FREE
www.converse.com
 
“Your Lips Are Red” by St. Vincent
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFrCIVoVj7A

 "Waterfalls" by Clams Casino
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KIQLbZPdIw

“Other People” by Prick

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ1iQrBugD8

UPDATE!!!!
Just today, Gorillaz posted the full, thirteen minute version of Do Ya Thing.
This thing goes EVERYWHERE and everywhere is goes is AMAZING.
www.gorillaz.com


Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Subject:My Trip To L.A.
Time:10:23 pm.

Some pre-flight ruminations:

In the cab, on the way to the airport, I passed so many shitty, little places (Chinese restaurants, Laundromats, delis etc.) with the grandest names imaginable: Olympic Cleaners, Great King Chinese Food, Excellent Deli and so forth.
At some point, I’d like to open these types of establishments, but name them things like Pretty Good Chinese Food, Not Filthy Cleaners and Won’t Give You Leptospirosis Deli.
There was, or maybe still is, a place in the 80’s on Madison called “Ok Market” and there used to be a deli on 98th and Madison called “Just Another Deli”.
I dug the truth in advertising.

Ever since college, every flight I took departed from La Guardia, which meant I would pass through Queens and that massive cemetery flanking the road.
Some part of me always felt better for having done it because it was as if, by passing through that graveyard, I’d been exposed to a lot of death and that, for some reason, meant that my plane wouldn’t crash.
Or something.
I’m sure that other, people have reflected on that, probably better than me, but, whatever.
I’m also usually up way too early on the days I travel and am sleepy; so, take that into account as well.

While flying over the galaxy of glittering lights that make up Memphis, Tennessee, I reflect that, every one has its own story and that I could not give a fuck about any of them.

Great thing about airports?
No homeless people.


All right, now to The Account.

From Thursday the 26th to Monday the 30th of January, I was in Los Angeles, staying with my good friends, Will and his wife, Diana.

Both legs of my flight went excellently, as I was able to get exit rows on each for my dainty, five foot long legs.
The layover in Memphis went as beautifully as anything can go in an airport: I walked off my plane from New York made a pee pee in the toity, walked up to the friendly, heavily accented lady behind the desk who gave me my new seat, then walked on to the plane.
Seamless as a baby.

I then spent most of the flight watching Moneyball, a movie about things with the framing of baseball.
Much like Black Swan, which was also a movie about things, but framed by ballet, it didn’t win me over to the framing device.
I still don’t give a shit about ballet or baseball (although my interest in celebrity lesbian sex scenes has increased a thousand fold).

Between the two flights, everything went so swimmingly, I ended up arriving in LAX (which stands for Los Angeles Xairport…the ‘x’ is silent…) a half hour early.
But LA traffic did a splendid job of fucking that right up.
Eventually, Will picked me up in his Prius, which is capable of launching small satellites, a feature only granted to graduates of the International Space University.
Which is a real place.
We arrived in his home in Glendale, at which point I freaked out his dog, Sampson (or maybe it’s ‘Samson’, I never actually asked the dog…) by being taller than his master and having longer hair than his mistress.
He barked until I sat down and then we were fast friends.
Soon after, Diana arrived home and we all went to accomplish the first item on my short list of things to do in Los Angeles; namely: eat a Zankou Chicken.
A quick aside: all of my LA goals had been gleamed from movies (The Big Lebowski) and music (Beck’s “Debra”), so don’t be surprised when I don’t make a point of going to the Hollywood sign.

Once we arrived and ate at Zankou Chicken, I had a much better understanding of not just Beck’s “Debra”, but the entire Midnite Vultures album.
Their garlic butter was, however, without equal.

We returned to Will’s and then, around 11 o’clock our time and 2 o’clock Phil’s time decided that Philip had to know, via caterwauled guitar/ukulele song, that there was no water on mars.
So we called him, twice, since we didn’t know if he had maybe already found out and panicked or whatever.
He later told us that he was too busy sleeping to answer his phone.
One thing I will say about Phil…he is a professional grade sleeper.
Then, we slept.
Another quick aside: because of my idiotic sleep schedule here in New York, I was able to play it totally normal in LA, blending in like a ninja in a ninja costume factory.
I, infiltrator.

Friday morning, I awoke to find an e-mail from TransPerfect asking if I could record one final line for my on-going Lenovo voice over session I’ve been recording on my home studio stuff. I informed Emily that I was in LA until the 30th and if it was possible to get it to her by the 31st.
She then suggested I record it in their studio in Culvert City.
Less than 12 hours in Los Angeles and already I was booking gigs.
Good. Omen.
I bounced the idea off Will and he agreed.

But, first…I plugged Will’s Beatles Rock Band mic into his Mac in order to make something amazing with Garageband.
Mission accomplished.
Throughout my time there, Will and I (and our supa-produca, Samson…I’m pretty sure it’s Samson…) worked on an original piece inspired by our urgent messages to Phil entitled “Water On Mars”.
Expect it some time Q4, 2013.

Will was able to avoid work for the remainder of Friday and we hit In & Out Burger on our way to Culvert City.
Burger = 8
Shake = 8
Fries = - 6
What…the…fuck…is wrong with their fries?*

After this bipolar lunch, we headed over to Culvert City, but not before Will drove me by the “Times Square of L.A.”.
We passed the tourists and maniacs out in front of Grauman’s Chinese theater and, you know what, I could handle never going there again.
There was something just so…greasy about it…
Anyway, we arrived at the studio, I met Emily, said my line (“Eastern Standard Time”) three times in fourteen seconds, racking up the most money for the smallest amount of work done in my career thus far…and then we left. Back to Will’s to continue work on “Water On Mars” and to await the advent on one Mister Dan Delgado AKA “Blades” Delgado, the notorious highwayman and chemist who was to join us that evening for Jay and Silent Bob Get Old, which records every Friday night at Universal City Walk at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater.
He arrived and, after a short discussion involving the September 11th attack on New York City, hurting animals and a smattering of other awful stuff, we left.
But not before I imbibed a delicious ginger pear cider.
Nummy num!

I was dazzled and disgusted by the garish nature of the place which made the Universal City Walk in Orlando, Florida look like an abandoned monastery.
After sitting down and shocking our heavy-drug using tablemate into silence with a TOTALLY HETERO discussion about jerking each other off in the parking lot in order to relieve tension so as to better focus on the show, Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes took the stage.
Then came a thirty minute monologue about how Kevin Smith’s 14-year old dog, Scully, the lynchpin of his family, is dying and, further, how his inability to deal with it is negatively affecting his marriage.
But it was still funnier than Jersey Girl.
I was praying for Mewes to interject something, anything, but this really wasn’t a back and forth kind of situation.
Eventually, Smith lightened the mood (slightly) with a story of how his daughter’s big tortoise, Snappy, has taken to raping her little tortoise, Snipper, by mounting it and making a high squeeing noise.
Yeah.
Then, Mewes told a story about shitting himself while working with a personal trainer and the results of said shart.
Finally, as they do at the end of every Jay and Bob Get Old, they played a game.
Sometimes it’s Let Us Fuck, where Kevin Smith will call out some geeky sexual position (the Boba Fetish etc.) and you and Mewes have to discuss then demonstrate said position, sometimes it’s Acting With Youse and Mewes (where Smith will direct you and Mewes in a scene from a popular movie) and, a few times, it’s been Do You Remember More About The 90’s Than Jason Mewes? (a very simple trivia game which Mewes almost always loses as he was totally fucked on heroin, oxycontin and crack for most of the 90’s).
This evening it was Do You Know More About the View Askew Movies** Than Jason Mewes?
Smith asked for a player from the audience and people started pointing at their friends and yelling at him to pick them, but, at Dan and Will’s urging, I merely stood up and was consequentially called up on stage.
I shook Smith’s hand and told him it was an honor, then did the same to Mewes, who, upon seeing how tall I was, bent over the table, imitating Snipper, the dominated tortoise.
So I fulfilled my role as Snappy and dry humped Jason Mewes while making a high pitched squeeing sound.
Happy Birthday to me.
We were then instructed, since there were no buzzers, to hit the table in front of us with our hands in order to “buzz in”.
If you’re truly interested in the outcome of this titanic battle, I’ll direct you to the recording of said podcast, which should be up around the end of February on Smodcast.com.
Here’s a hint, I was fucking shocked and worried for the majority of my time on stage.
That junkie knows a lot more about the movies he co-starred in than I had thought…

The three of us then made our way to Roscoe’s Chicken ‘N Waffles (another L.A. food staple) where we were joined by Diana.
I was informed by both Will and Dan that the choice wasn’t to have chicken OR waffles, but whether or not your chicken would be served “smothered”.
It was…unnaturally good.
By which I mean bad.
My only problem was that the chicken wasn’t served ON the waffles.
We had an enlightening conversation about the meaning and state of being “mad dogged” and then we retired for the evening.

Saturday morning, Will, Diana and I met up with a friend from Fordham who I wish I’d gotten to know better during our time there, the ever-salacious Graham Slipper.
We were also joined by his silk-dancing assassin girlfriend, Jordan and his absolute pussy magnet of a dog, Mustafa.
Graham has suggested a pleasant little place called Home which provided me with yet another amazing meal.
More excellent food and more excellent company.

Stuffed, we made our way to the Arclight Theater (a Los Angeles landmark) to pick up tickets for the new Mission Impossible then Will and I headed across the street to Amoeba Music (another landmark).
This place made me roll a tear, bringing back all the wonderful memories I’d had at various Tower Records/Video during my time in college.
This place was the fucking Platonic Ideal of Tower.
Sadly, crushingly, now that I’m a filthy deadbeat music downloader, there was nothing I was looking for.
I was thinking how impersonal and unexciting things have gotten with regards to new music these days…
There’s no more lining up at a Tower at midnight on a Monday in order to be one of the first fans to hold in your hands the new thing from your favorite artist/band.
Now it’s all about trawling the torrents sites for the earliest leak with the highest bit rate.
*sigh*
Will, however, had no problem whatsoever finding a panoply of physical media to bring home.
The lucky dog owner.

Then, off to the movie and fresh caramel popcorn.
Even though the movie was pretty straightforward action pap, the experience was pretty great.
I wish I’d seen The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo or something else where the sound was more than just explosions.
Not a bad movie though.

Once the movie had ended, Will and I dropped Diana at home and headed out to UCLA for They Might Be Giants’ thirtieth anniversary concert.
If you’re truly interested in this, I direct you now to scroll down a few inches and read my full review.
Overall, while it was a solid concert, I felt they could have made a bigger deal over this marking thirty years of them playing live together.
Plus the energy felt a bit low, probably because it was a seated venue and they’d done a family show earlier that day.
God damn do I hate seeing them in seated venues when they’ve performed a family show earlier that day…

One thing I will mention, as it has me utterly flummoxed and managed to truly shake my world view: after Jonathan Coulton had finished up and Will and I were waiting for TMBG to take the stage, Will asked me how many times, at this point, I had seen They Might Be Giants live.
I told him it was between 55 and 60 since my first show in March of 1998 in Orlando.
He balked and said that was a huge number.
I countered that there were people there tonight who had seen them more than that, much more, 300 times, at least, maybe more.
He scoffed, did the math and said I was insane.
I then put my money where my mouth is and bet him five bucks that, if he went down to the front row and asked how many times the people sitting there had seen TMBG, that he’d get at least ONE person in triple digits, closer to 300 than not.
I figured since we were in row V and those folks were in row A, well, yeah.
So, Will went down and, a few minutes later, returned, demanding his money.
I asked for the total and he said, after polling the first AND second rows, the highest number of shows seen…was fifteen.
Fifteen.
So, it appears that I am somewhat obsessed with They Might Be Giants.
Who knew?

We got to Will’s and, as the three of us were feeling a bit peckish, whipped up a delicious little meal that included magic sauce for potatoes and fresh guacamole and fajitas.
An upside to not having a 24 hour run-of-the-mill diner a thousand feet from your front door…
Then, more much needed sleep.

Sunday morning was spent with our friend from high school, Hillary who lives in L.A. and brought along her husband, Alex, and her suspiciously adorable kids, Finley and Nico.
Hillary has been doing well in L.A., to put it mildly.
It was truly great to catch up with her and Alex, who I hadn’t seen in about six years or so.
We talked about being handicapped in the industry and how stupid people are and whatnot.
Good times.
Yet another great meal with great conversation.
Things were beginning to feel a bit scripted at this point…

Soon after, Hillary, Alex and their unnaturally cute kids left and the three of us unwound with Memento.
Guy Pierce sounds like it should be a porn actor’s name.

After that, Will and I left to see Eddie Izzard at the Coronet, something that popped up at the last minute a day or so before.
We swung by and got our (amazing) seats then Will took me to the final, insane dinning experience of my trip: a little place called Milk.
After several days of meat and meat and meat, I decided to have a nice, light pasta dish with pesto and other things that weren’t meat…and some chicken.
I’m not a fag, okay?
Then (and this is what the place is known for), I got some dessert, Coffee Toffee ice cream, to be exact.
Haven’t had ice cream that good in quite a while.
Then, off to the Coronet to have my brain blown out the top of my head by the one and only Eddie Izzard.
His set covered why God doesn’t exist, the whole of human existence and why Latin is a dead language.
My two favorite moments were the Latin thing and his joke about picky badgers (which included an amazing impression of bok choy…yes, he did an impression of bok choy…the Chinese cabbage) which culminated in a delicious and truly awful pun.
I’ve decided that I need to see him every single time I can from now on.
I saw him once in Philly with Lauren and Trevor, but he was sick and we were tired (still, an utterly amazing show).
There is just SO MUCH packed into one of his sets that you can’t help but find something so funny that you can’t breathe.
I think I’m ready to declare Eddie Izzard, Patton Oswalt and Stella my favorite comics.
Call someone.
Tell the others.

With that, ostensibly, my trip to Los Angeles was over.
I packed, slept and then, the next morning, bid Will and Diana goodbye as the Super Shuttle pulled up.
On the way to the airport, I began talking with the only other person on said shuttle, a postal worker named Sabin, who waited for me to stop talking long enough to interject stuff I really had no interest in hearing…except for one thing.
I commented that the burgers at In & Out were pretty good, but that the fries were awful.
He informed me that it was because they were natural.
“They fry them in veggie oil, add salt and that’s it.”
An interesting possibility, and yet…no.
These fries were really fucked.

Aside from the typical airport shit and a delicious pulled pork sandwich in Memphis, that was it.

My very first time out there and I can’t imagine anything else living up to it.
I mean, amazing food at every turn, getting on stage with Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes, seeing They Might Be Giants and Eddie Izzard, booking a (hilarious, weensy) gig, collaborating on a hit song, not to mention the amazing friends and the weather and everything else?
Come on!
The only things I didn’t do on this trip were coke, experience an earthquake and punch a supporter of Proposition 8 in the genitals while screaming “THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO THESE PEOPLES’ HEARTS!!!”.
The one issue I could see if I ever ended up out there would be the lack of transportation.
Or rather the abundance of shitty transportation.
I don’t want a repeat of Florida, which utterly stripped me of my independence when I was at my most independent.
One of the main reasons I’m in New York is that one does not need anything more than a pair of legs to get oneself around.
And, god DAMN are my legs beautiful…
But, I suppose I can burn that bridge when I cross it.
This was an exceptional weekend, populated by exceptionally friends.
California truly does know how to party.
Yes they do.

 


* I would meet an unlikely someone during my last hour or so in Los Angeles who would posit an answer to my query…

** Namely: Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike back and Clerks: the Animated Series.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, February 6th, 2012

Subject:FOR SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!
Time:9:21 pm.
This Saturday, I had me my science party.
Yes, there was science.
Fire and freezing and shattering and a bunch of fun stuff that would have gotten me expelled had I ever dared to do any of it in school.
Aside from having to resort to "poor man's liquid nitrogen" because some monster fuckmaster from T.W. Smith told me I could get the LN2 from noon to fucking four on Saturday forgot to mention that when he said "noon to four" he fucking meant "eight to noon".
God damn cuntflaps.
But, a million thanks to my One and Only who snapped to and tracked down 15 pounds of dry ice.
While not as dangerous or cold (-70 C) as LN2 (-321 C), it still has the capability to maim people, so, at least there was that.
Once I saw some videos of dry ice doing its ting, I stopped throwing my tantrum (and it was the closest thing to a tantrum I've had since I was 5) and the evening got started.
Seriously though, I felt like a little kid who had been promised a clown and who had told ALLLL the kids coming to the party that there was going to BE a clown...but then, at the last minute, the clown was killed by Nazis.
Who then raped the clown in front of the kid.
Laughing.
So, yeah.
But, despite the lack of potential lethal liquid elements, everything went super swimmingly.
Special shout outs (along with Chris) to Jan and Jim who brought a fucking trebuchet that was assembled with liquid quickness by Jen Rock and the Original Jen.
Also, to New Friend, Karyn Joy DeAwesomename, Becca's friend who joined in the science and shattered the shit out of some flowers.
We hope to see more of you guys the next time things get scientific.

The next day, Chris and I had Brunch with Kathy and I ate deep friend bacon for the first and last time in my life.
I can still hear it screaming in my colon just planning how to get back at me for eating it.
Its revenge will include bloody stool, I fear...

Later that day though, Chris and I watched Hunter S. Thompson's The Rum Diary and it was awesome.
The story and acting and everything were all right, but what it was...was amazing...
Rum Diary was basically Batman Begins for Hunter S. Thompson.
It's his origin story and it's pretty incredible to see what went into making him him.
I still miss that guy...
If you're looking for a crazy drug trip with mostly unintelligible dialogue, watch Fear & Loathing, but, if you want a less psychedelic film, and would like to Aaron Eckhart lose his shit, check out Run Diary.

I'm still crafting my account of my trip to Los Angeles at the end of January, so, hold tight...you, one person who is reading this, you'll get your butter tarts soon...

Exhausted today after only getting eight hours or so and waking up for, of all fucking things, an Odor Eaters VO.
Yeah, they still make those.
At least the copy wasn't fucking warm and friendly with a hint of a smile.
They sort of embraced the fact that their product is going to be purchased by people with smelly feet.

All right.
On your way.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

Subject:A review of They Might Be Giants' 30th Anniversary Show at Royce Hall at UCLA
Time:2:20 am.

Had a chance to see They Might Be Giants’ 30th Anniversary Show at Royce Hall at UCLA.
Here’s how it went…

Even though this show had a “Lincoln* theme” and therefore featured a slew of songs I hadn’t heard in a while over my fifteen years of fandom, the whole thing felt a bit lackluster for their 30th anniversary playing together.
I honestly expected a full horn section, special guests…flaming tigers?
At one point, Robin “Goldie” Goldwasser popped out and joined the band for “Dr. Evil” (probably because she’d performed at the family show earlier that afternoon and had no plans for the evening) and Conan O’Brien’s pet trumpet player, Mark Pender was on-stage for a handful of tunes, but that was all.
This show marked thirty years to the day that these guys (Flansburgh and Linnell) have been playing together.
THREE DECADES.
And all they could muster was one trumpet player and Flans’ wife?Don’t misunderstand, both Pender and Goldwasser are exceptional performers, but this was to be a special night and it felt a bit flat.John and John offhandedly mentioned the significance of the evening once and that was it.I wasn’t looking for a VH-1 Storyteller’s session, but, come on, this band has been around for longer than some of its fans have been on the planet!It’s a massive achievement and I was a bit puzzled they didn’t take three minutes to pat themselves on the back is all.

Aside from the indifference towards this momentous occasion, the show was excellent. The Avatars of They came out and performed a song from their upcoming EP (a jingle for a new, fake drug called PANDOR) as well as the bridge of “Snowball In Hell”, a high point of the show. Some other great moments included a rallying game of Apes Vs. People (people won) as well as a John/John/accordion rendition of “How Can I Sing Like A Girl?”, plus some of the best tracks off of Lincoln (“They’ll Need A Crane”, “Pencil Rain” and “Ana Ng”) and their latest single from their second most recent release, Join Us, the shimmeringly aggressive, “When Will You Die?”.
Personally, I would have replaced the ridiculously overplayed “Damn Good Times” with “New York City” or “Don’t Let’s Start” or “No One Knows My Plan” or “The Lady and The Tiger” or “The Guitar” or even just three minutes of old school John and John banter, but that’s just me…and me thinks that they should stop playing that song.

Overall, the energy felt a little low, whether because of the afternoon show or the fact that this was a seated venue, but, other than that and the aforementioned failure to make a big deal about themselves, it was, like I said, an excellent show, as pretty much all They Might Be Giants shows are.
After thirty years, these guys can still sell out a venue and have their audience standing and stamping their feet for an encore.

This was the second date on the last leg of their Join Us tour and I’ll also be seeing them on the last date of said leg in March at Terminal 5.
There will be no show earlier in the day, the audience will be standing the whole time and it’s going to take place a mildly expensive cab ride away from the Johns’ homes in Brooklyn; in other words: no excuses.

See you in March, gentlemen.




*Their second album, released in 1988.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

Subject:End of the Month Music Bitchfest - January 2012
Time:12:14 am.

Happy New* Bitch.

Nine Inch Nails

Despite releasing the epic, amazing etc. etc. etc. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo score, Reznor and Ross were NOT nominated for an Oscar.
Which doesn't really matter because it was still released and is still amazing, but, you know, it feels good to know that other people enjoy good music as well.
Makes one feel like the world might not be ending in 530+ days.
But, let's look on the bright side: maybe he'll spend less time making music for films and more time making Nine Inch Nails music.
Apparently, the deluxe Fragile and the full length How To Destroy Angels album are coming out this year (the HTDA this quarter, according to things).
I'll believe it when I'm slamming them repeatedly into my earholes.

They Might Be Giants

Their final leg of the Join Us tour started on the 28th in Los Angeles at Royce Hall with a Lincoln show.
And I was there to see it.
It wasn't a full-on, front-to-back Lincoln show, but they played 14 of the 18 tracks off the album.
A few tracks I'd never heard which were pretty awesome live, and some that felt a bit slapdash.
All in all, for the show celebrating their very first live performance together, thirty years ago TO THE DAY in Central Park as El Groupa De Rock N Roll.the show was a bit of a let down.
I expected at least a full horn section, maybe some special guests, I don't know.but there was only Robin Goldwasser, who popped out to sing "Dr. Evil" and then Mark Pender, Conan's pet trumpet player.
And they are still fucking playing "Damn Good Times".
I will also be at the last show (according to Flans himself) of 2012, March 10th at Terminal 5.
And the rest of the year? Spent relaxing and raising their children?
"Fuck that," says the band, "we're going to write and record (and hopefully release) TWO brand new
albums (plus an EP by our puppet alter egos, the Avatars of They)!"
Here's hoping they have nothing to do with children.
The albums, not the band.
Although, as we've seen with certain bands named Nine Inch Nails, kids can REALLY fuck up an album release schedule.
Am I right or am I right or am I right???!!!
Yes.

Note: Okay, for 2012, I'm just going to cut back on the wasted energy and simply not write anything if the other three bands (Cake, Beck, and Eels) don't do anything.
A. It isn't like they'll happen to read this and then feel guilted into making music and B. I need to save my energy for my parkour training.

So, that said.

Beck

Beck remixed a Feist song.
And I took a huge shit the other day.
I'd rather listen to the latter.

Marilyn Manson.ha ha ha.
Never you mind about Marilyn Manson.

Just a few days ago, Garbage launched their new site.
So far, they have posted a sort of mission statement, some tour dates (all festivals and non-U.S. dates) a teaser for the new album, which now has a title and a release date.
The new Garbage album, the first in seven years, will be titled "Not Your Kind Of People" and will be released on their own label on May 15th.
W00t.
The band keeps saying that it sounds like their first two albums without sounding like their first two albums.so yeah.
Apparently, we're going to hear their first, as-of-yet-untitled single in January.which didn't happen.
At least not in this quantum eventuality.

Nothing from Tweaker, either, although, I forget if I already "reported" this, but Vrenna has officially left the greasy, undertalented clutches of Marilyn Manson.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
Here's hoping they've got something good to show us.and soon.

And, now, an addition to the list of bands/artists that aren't in my top five but who I am looking forward to their next release list.Damon Albarn.
Here's my brief history with regards to Mr. Albarn.
I liked one or two Blur songs, then listened to their greatest hits collection then liked three or four of their songs.
I liked one or two songs off of the first Gorillaz album and then the majority of the second Gorillaz album and then I liked Damon Albarn.
One of the reasons I like him, even if I don't love every one of his many, many solo and side projects is that he is clearly an artist who is doing what he wants and having a great, goddamned time doing it.
Blur? Whatever.
But then he created a band with artist Jamie Hewlett based on the concept of how fake the industry is.
Not only that, but he's taken things so far with Gorillaz that they've become a world wide phenomenon, bigger than Blur will EVER be.and they don't really exist.
Then there's the aforementioned other projects, such as The Good, the Bad and the Queen, the music for the stage play, "Monkey: Journey To The West", the opera written about Doctor John Dee called "Doctor Dee", the recently released DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo) Music collaboration, "Kinshasa One Two" which was recorded in Kinshasa in five days with a slew of Congolese musicians and some huge ass producers including Dan the Automator, Richard Russell, Marc Antoine, Jneiro Jarel, T-E-E-D (Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs) and Kwes.
And, something I recently discovered by accident,; a project he did back in 2002 called "Mali Music"
with a group of Malian musicians.
It's some of the most interesting, rich and textured music I've heard in a while.
Some of it would fit perfectly on the next Gorillaz album, whenever and whatever that might be.
Then there's his upcoming project, Rocketjuice and the Moon, a funk side project consisting of him, Tony Allen and Flea.
Yeah.
This guy is having fun.
And listening to him is fun so, bang on, Damon Albarn; I look forward to what comes next from you.
I also highly recommend checking out that "Mali Music" album. The music ranges from dusty and atmospheric (like the unsettling ghost waltz sound of "Spoons", which reminds me of a darker version of that huge ballroom scene from the Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansion ride), to happy-walk-through the-jingle-with-a-friendly-sloth-holding-a-coconut jaunty ("Le Hogon"), to very Gorillaz-esque melancholy ("Sunset Coming On" ).
Check it out, you've not heard anything like it before.

All righty.
Welcome to the New Year.
It still sounds like Bitch..

*Old

Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Subject:It's Been A While
Time:5:25 pm.
Fuck you, Staind.
You've managed to ruin a phrase that people say all the time.
Also, your name is misspelled and you sound like a MORE awful Limp Bizkit.
But, hey, at least Fred Durst died from that exploded appendix...the one I sent him that was full of hand grenades and needles covered in hep-C.
So, Happy New Year after all, I suppose.

I have been in quite a busy state.
The Grind Show audio book project, which has sort of had no real deadline, suddenly has a very hard, very real, very fast-approaching deadline.
But, after a solid weekend of rerecording and editing, I am almost done.
I need to edit my rerecord of chapter 2 (the original chapter was not as action packed as it should have been) and then, barring some huge, computer-related cataclysm, the Grind Show audio book is finished.
Cannot WAIT for people to hear this...
More information coming soon.

Then there is my upcoming trip to Los Angeles.
I'll be attending They Might Be Giants' 30th anniversary concert, seeing a recording of Jay and Silent Bob Get Old (as will Will's lovely wife, Diana, who, thanks to Will, has NO IDEA what she is in for) and, hopefully hanging out with Grahme Skipper and Dan Delgado, he of the terrifying, knobbly word cock.
When I return, I will be a mere four days from my 31st birthday party...which will feature liquid...motherfucking...nitrogen.
There will also be other awesome science things to do.
I plan to wear a lab coat and quote Portal all evening.

When I find the time, I have been playing my copy of the Metal Gear Solid HD collection which has cleaned up, prettier versions of MGS 2, MGS 3 and MGS Peace Walker.
I've always loved these games, but was reminded of why after playing Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, the first, chronologically speaking, Metal Gear game.
The depth to these games is...incredible...
The entire series is based, not on running in guns blazing, but in staying hidden.
You can potentially, if you're amazing and Japanese, play every single game in the series without being seen by the enemy and by taking them out with non-lethal force.
It requires skill and patience, but it's possible, and you're rewarded for both.
And then there is the story...
I'm planning on playing the whole series in order just to get a clearer pictuire at the ridiculously convoluted, super-Japanese plotline.
I say "clearer picture" because that's really all you can get when it comes to Metal Gear.
That should carry me into 2013 nicely...

Aside from reliving my fondest tactical stealth action memories, Chris and I have been watching the sixth season of Dexter, which, despite the inclusion of such television and movie stars as Tom Hank's son and Commander Adama from BSG, was really awful.
Except for the last thirty seconds.
Again, if you want something cool, just watch the last thirty second of Dexter, season six.
With the events of that thirty seconds, season seven promises to be good.
HAS to be. 

Along with all this, I've recorded some VO for new friend/collaborator, Phil Maniaci, who was a co-producer "Bitter Sweet", the short film that was too scary for Steve Buscemi, rerecorded some Lenovo VO for TransPerfect and, tomorrow, I have my third session with Speakaboos, in which I will finish where I left off in my recording of the alphabet.
I was on "G".
Which stands for "green".
The color, not the fad.

Very exciting times.
Very exhausting, exciting times.
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Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

Subject:The Most Interesting Voice We've Ever Heard
Time:7:48 pm.
A few days ago, I was contacted for an audition which, due to my recent illness, I was unable to attend.*
Here's what the client was looking for:

The most interesting voice we’ve ever heard. He’s likeable and authentic. Distinct. Masculine. Confident. Comfortable in his own skin. Someone you look up to. A storyteller.

The most interesting voice we've ever heard.
While I know the client (it's a very mainstream product for very mainstream people) and their previous ad work (it's fucking everywhere all the time in New York), I'm not going to say the name, just in case, but, one thing I will say: in the end, this ad will not feature the most interesting voice anyone has ever heard.
But, Paul, they said they were looking for the most interesting voice they've EVER heard! It's right there in the spec!!!
Yes, Other Me I'm Making Sound Like An Idiot For The Purpose Of Proving My Point, I know, but, you have to understand, when people like this say something like that, they don't mean interesting to everyone, they mean interesting to their trudging, brain-dead demographic.
So, if one were to go in with a for-real-and-true interesting voice, these folks would probably grimace, say "weeeeeird-ooooo" and move on (after high fiving in assent).
Not that I consider my voice interesting. I believe it can do some interesting things, but I've never had anyone say "you have an interesting voice".
It's deep and rich like buttered sex leather (I actually have gotten that before) but I would not say it's interesting.
Crispin Glover has an interesting voice.
Alan Rickman has an interesting voice.
Emo Philips has an interesting voice.
But the idea of any of these actors doing a voice over for THIS company?
I can feel their wallets shriveling at the thought of trying anything so...risky.
God forbid that someone other than their demographic thinks something they do is interesting! Why, that might get them more customers and what kind of business wants that?!
More money? Thank you, sir, but, no, we'll do just fine with our brand of not-actually-interesting interesting.
Another hint as to how this will not, in any way, be interesting: all the words in that description: "likeable", "authentic", "distinct", "masculine", etc. are what's known as "bullshit".
These words appear in almost every voice over description out there (along with my top three favorites: "warm", "friendly" and "not announcery").
You see where I'm going with this?
How are you going to do something interesting if you only use old and tired buzz words?
There's no math to it...
Anyway, I can't wait to see what these guys think of for "the most interesting voice they've ever heard".
I'm willing to bet you'll forget this commercial before it's even over.






* But please believe me when I promise you this is not a "sour grapes" thing by any means. I go on enough auditions to not let these things bother me.

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Friday, January 6th, 2012

Subject:PANIC, a new ARG
Time:3:51 pm.

I tweeted this morning, from my bed, that everyone should live each day as if it were their last…before the Zombie
Apocalypse.

I began to reflect on said thought and came up with a fun new game for people to play in 2012.
I call it Panic.

Every ambulance that speeds by you contains the first victim of the Zombie Outbreak.
Every phone call is a loved one, beleaguered by hordes of the shambling undead.
Every noise you hear in your darkened home, a hideous creature seeking nothing more than to tear out and consume your brains.

You know how you wake up, have your coffee, check your goddamn iPhone then trundle off to work?
You know how you moan and wail about how sad and staid your life is on your various social networking sites?
I guaran-fucking-tee this will stop as soon as you adopt this new way of looking at life.
Guaran-fucking-tee.

So, give it a try.
It’s about 4:00 on a Friday, play until Saturday, see how it goes.
If you like it, keep playing, if not, forget I mentioned it.

It’s called Panic.
And it will change your life.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Subject:YEAR IN BITCH - 2011
Time:12:32 am.
Nine Inch Nails


All in all, it's been a year of waiting for Nine Inch Nails fans.
Waiting for a new NIN album (a new Ghosts album, a follow up to Year Zero or something completly different*), the full length How To Destroy Angels album (originally set for release in January 2011), the release of the deluxe edition of 1999's "The Fragile" (teased and hinted at for the past half a decade), the release of the HD footage of the last Nine Inch Nails live shows back in September 2009 (videos for two songs was put up in December 2010 and January 2011, on Christmas and New Year's respectivly) and, of course, the score for David FIncher's remake of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo", which was annouced around the 2010 Oscars.
And what did Nine Inch Nails fans get?
A cover of a U2 song, a minor addition to a Robbie Robertson track and the aforementioned score.
True, the score is massive, containing music that expresses a myriad of emotions and works in perfect tandem with FIncher's images, a frozen masterpiece, the U2 cover is cool and Robbie Robertson...continues to make music, but, was this a good year for Nine Inch Nails fans?
It really depends on who you ask.
Fans who remember that five year drought between 1994's "The Downward Spiral" and 1999's "The Fragile" (curse you, drug and alcohol addiciton!!!) and the six year drought between 1999's "The Fragile" and 2005's "With Teeth" (curse you, drug and alcohol addiciton rehabilitation!!!) will probably be quick to say it was an excellent year as something Reznor created (with the help of 12 Round's Atticus Ross, of course) came out, but newer fans, say, those who stepped on board in 2007 and experienced a globe-spanning, mind-bending ARG leading up to the advent of "Year Zero", then the release of the 36-track instrumental work, "Ghosts I-IV" and then, mere months later, "The Slip", a free, full-length album created in ten weeks and released less than 24 hours after the final track was mixed on the official Nine Inch Nails web site as "a thank you to the fans"**, might feel a bit let down.
Personally?
I don't know.
Will I ever be truly satisfied when it comes to Nine Inch Nails or, for that matter, any of the bands I really dig?
I was satisfied after "The Fragile", but there was so much to it, and, while his instrumental and score work is really groundbreaking stuff, it's instrumental and I do like me some vocals...
I stand by my belief that if "Ghosts I-IV" or the Dragon Tattoo score had lyrics, they would be the best Nine Inch Nails albums ever.
But, as we all know, I'm a glutton.
So, you know what? No, I'm not 100% satisfied with Nine Inch Nails' productivity this year; yes, the Dragon Tattoo score is incredible and every other adjective the reviewers are using and will continue using for the rest of time, but it's not Nine Inch Nails.
It didn't come from Trent Reznor.
It came from Steig Larsson.
And Atticus Ross.
And David FIncher.
And How To Destroy Angels isn't Trent Reznor either.
It's Atticus and Mariqueen and whatever else was bouncing around in their heads at the time.
I want more Nine Inch Nails.
So hit me, Trent.
Stop fucking around and hit me.

In a recent interview with Zane Lowe of the BBC, Reznor said three things which are going to make 2012 worth it for me:

1. The full length How To Destroy Angels album is coming out in the first few months of the year.
2. The next release from Nine Inch nails will be the long, loooooong awaited Fragile deluxe edition.
3. 2012 is all about writing new Nine Inch Nails music.which probably means no new NIN until 2013, but short of kidnapping his son.Lazarus Echo (not a joke, that is what he and his wife chose to name their first born son), well, I guess we let the man work.
A bit of potential light at the end of this tunnel.if the Year Zero mini-series is still happening (and no one has given any reason for people to think it's not), this new music might be to accompany the show.in other words Year Zero 2.
So, if the Apocalypse can wait just a few more months, we might get a vchance to hear how everything turns out.
Here's hoping.


Beck


Beck...has had a sleepy year.
He produced a lot of stuff and did a handful of concerts and maybe thought about putting out that trunk album, "Rococo", that he's had lying around...but, other than that?
Fuck all.
Vacation's over, you vacant-eyed Nordic fuck.
Get your shit together, pull your insanely talented musical cock out of everyone else's pot pies and MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC.


Cake


Compared to the last seven years? This year was all hurricanes and earthquakes for these smug sons of bitches. Next year looks to be another snoozer though.

Unless you want to prove me wrong, you sun-child-hippy-ball-bags.?


They Might Be Giants


2011 featured TMBG's triumphant return to "adult" music. And it's about fucking time. Not since "No!" has They Might Be Giants had a good children's' album. Personally, I blame Disney and their constraints, but enough about kid's music, as it seems they're done with that for a while.
Thankfully.
In July, TMBG released "Join Us", which, for some reason, people seem to consider a return to their roots although there is very little accordion or screaming and the full band is featured on practically every track. If John and John were to truly return to their roots, I believe it would involve the two of them in a shitty little Brooklyn studio with a drum machine.
Anyway, along with "Join Us", the band released a companion/rarities album called "Album Raises New And Troubing Questions" which has some leftover tracks from
"Join Us", some reinterpretations, live tracks and other bits and pieces. On top of those two full album releases, they've been touring most of the year.
Gentlemen, whether or not I love your new material, you have performed excellently this year and salute you.
And, just a week or so ago, Flansburgh posted that, aside from more tourhing in 2012, the band plans to record ANOTHER new album.
THAT is what I'm fucking talking about.
Best of luck, guys.
Keep making it rock.


Eels


Compared to the last few years, a rigorous world tour almost seems light for E, but, as I witnessed one evening of pure brainmelting rock in Williamsburg, I can't attest to the fact that when this man wants to work, he works.
Not sure how many times I can reiterate this, but, after the three-albums-in-fourteen-months miracle paired with the extensive touring.well, as long as we see some action by Q2 2012, I'll be happy.
Hey, Other Bands I Like, you should all take a page from E's book and kick it up a notch.
Just saying.




Meanwhile, this has been an awesome for kick ass women making kick ass music.


There was P.J. Harvey's "Let England Shake" which, despite my meh reaction to most of it, is still a very interesting piece of work with a great concept behind it.
Lot of creepy stuff on here.


Also, crazy hot honey/smoke singer Lykke Li had her second album, "Wounded Rhymes" which was morose and ass-shaking and alien.
I've said everything I will about this record and it's all good, so check it out.


Then, separated by about a week, St. Vincent's excellent follow up to her excellent second album, "Strange Mercy" and Tori Amos's return to making good music with "Night of Hunters", a sprawling, twisty tale about.night.and hunters.and botany.


TV On The Radio also released their amazing "Nine Types of Light", which, it seems didn't really appeal to the critics, but then their bass player died and everyone felt bad.
So take from that what you will.


Overall, I'd say this was a pretty great year for music.

Even if every one of my favorite bands didn't produce (and I mean "produce" as in "create", not "produce" is in "sit in on some other artist's session and occasionally strum an acoustic guitar or press a button", Beck, you lazy fucker.) anything.




















* A collaboration with the remaining members of Monty Python perhaps?

**All this interspersed with extensive touring around the world.
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Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Subject:A review of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross' "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" score
Time:12:01 am.

While it isn’t quite Option 30’s cover of “Der Kommissar”, I’ve decided to review Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ score for “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” anyway.

The temperature is lowered a hundred degrees the second we hear the hollow wind at the start of the album. It doesn’t get much warmer. Yes, there’s sunlight to contrast the icy, creeping dark, and, sometimes it serves to warm us, but, more often than not, it’s cold sunlight, too far away to do more than hurt our eyes.

Practically every track has a wash of sound or some sort of distorted warble, sometimes they detract, like in “One Particular Moment”, but, in almost every other case, it adds tension, distress and, most importantly, cold.

I’ve discovered how Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross managed to get such a desolate, cold feeling on the majority of this album: the use of instrumentation (the hammered dulcimer is simple, beautiful instrument, but they make it chilly and unnerving by doing something that sounds like hooking one up to an old modem receiving an error message) and scant vocals of Mariqueen Maandig, plus the keys and pitches at which things are played.

Most everything sounds just a little wrong.

Very alienating and cold.

 David Fincher now has his very own Ghosts.

 

 

Disc 1

 

  1. Immigrant Song – After the empty howling of the frozen North wind sweeps down upon you, the drums kick in, their surface crusted with ice that’s shattered with each blow and yet reforms almost as fast as it’s being destroyed. The vocals, like a frozen blade slash across your face and, just as you’re certain you’ll be lost forever under the huge, apocalyptic avalanche of ice and sound at the end, it’s finished, you’re finished…and the album, the thirty-nine track, two hour and fifty three minute score has just begun. 
  2. She Reminds Me Of You – There’s something predatory about this. The wailing, lost moan speaks of things vast and beautiful and dangerous, like a moonlit plain, pocked with holes covered in snow, waiting to break your ankle and strand you there to die of exposure.
  3. People Lie All The Time – A diseased thrum pervades this piece like blows sounding on a massive, stone door. The scrambling, wavering strings serve as a warning: don’t open this door. A huge note at the end signifies that we’re too late, the door was opened and everything is undone. There’s a stunning sense of finality to this, even though it’s only the third track on the album.
  4. Pinned and Mounted – This track goes to a few different places; none of them places you’d want to go. A piping organ towards the end creeps up on you like something small and deadly, a psychotic child with a knife.
  5. Perihelion – One of the most disturbing tracks on the album. It opens like a glowing, infected eye, spilling its poisoned light on fields of atrocities. Towards the end, when that rusted, metallic cry comes in and then the half digital, half demonic chattering madness…it’s hard to keep listening, an aurora borealis over Hell. This is a strong argument for Trent and Atticus to score a horror movie.
  6. What If We Could? – Could this be the only warm track on the entire album? The only piece that isn’t comprised of icicles in the dark and shallow pools of gray water covered by particle-thin sheets of frost? For a moment, for this moment, everything’s okay, everything’s going to work out. There’s hope. A sad hope, but that still counts. Then the light at the end of the tunnel turns red…
  7. With The Flies – Some tracks on the album work when placed next to one another, but none as much as “What If We Could?” and “With The Flies”, if only for the juxtaposition. The creeping terror inherent here is just so unsettling.  Both the title and the content indicate something horrible has taken place. This and “Perihelion” are both reminiscent of Akira Yamaoka’s work on the Silent Hill video game series.
  8. Hidden In Snow – The background is tar and the hammered dulcimer is insects trapped and dying on its surface. Listen to this on the right set of speakers and the pervasive bass will alter your brainwave patterns. There is a sickness here.  
  9. A Thousand Details – A bit reminiscent of “Driver Down” from the “Lost Highway” soundtrack, there’s a wonderful sense of desperation, of pursuit taking place within this track. Feel that crunchy guitar. This one is all about disaster, explosions and the motherfucking end of days.
  10. One Particular Moment – Out of the wailing, teeth-gritting void comes some of the most beautiful piano on the album. Eventually, some simple, effective strings are added and the melody emerges from the cloud of dissonance like the sun on a cold day. Only for a moment though, before it’s swallowed up by a huge wave of fuzzed out synth. At the very end though, if you listen closely, after the wave has receded, you can still hear the ghost of that melody, floating off into nothing.
  11. I Can’t Take It Anymore – Mariqueen’s gauzy vocalizations add to the cold of an already frigid piece.
  12. How Brittle The Bones – On a disc of dynamic, fluid, interesting tracks, this one stands out by not standing out. A simple, dull interlude.
  13. Please Take Your Hand Away – This is both reassuring and unsettling. The big, slightly blurred piano offers solemnity and resolve, but everything else around it is jittery, unsure of itself. Something about those tumbling, falling notes at the end sound like giving up in a state of confusion. This is a great ending to the first act of Reznor and Ross’ latest opus.

 

Disc 2

 

  1. Cut Into Pieces – Brings you right back in. It’s sharp and uncomfortable, more technological that anything we’ve seen so far. The ending is zombie crickets and cell phone interference
  2. The Splinter – A lot like “How Brittle The Bones” as far as it’s unimpressive.
  3. An Itch – Everything happening in this track is great. The sound of sound itself tearing that pings back and forth, the paranoid pacing, the slightly detuned piano which runs throughout…one of the best tracks on the album.
  4. Hypomania – Some thing is following you down a dark, wet tunnel. Something lumbering, inexorable. You run because you’re terrified, but it doesn’t have to because there’s only one exit and it’s standing between you and it. At the end of the piece, you face a bricked-over doorway and feel hot breath on your neck…
  5. Under The Midnight Sun – Something broken stumbling across vast, empty, freezing tundra. You can actually feel the wind when you listen to this. The end is pure Silent Hill, as the limping thing returns to its lair and dies.
  6. Aphelion – This begins with the sounds of space rushing at you, but not empty space. There’s something there, waiting. Then a small, insistent melody. Delicate. Too delicate for a place like this. Suddenly, the space is shut out and you’re confronted with the melody, but just for a moment. There’s a music box buried under ashes somewhere in the wasteland...
  7. You’re Here – A juxtaposition of high, fragile sounds and a heavy, thudding bass beat. There isn’t enough development for this to become interesting.
  8. The Same As The Others – The high, lonely squeal off to the right combined with the deep, cavernous rumbling is pure Yamaoka. The melody has a ponderous, lost feel to it, also very Silent Hill.
  9. A Pause For Reflection – The skittering, sparkling, dancing hammered dulcimer (like light) is given form by the simply thudding and depth by the roaring ocean in the background. When that glacial background comes forward and the rest recedes, something interesting happens. This is a track that goes from small to large, shallow to deep; like a body of water. A body of water under a sheet of ice.
  10. While Waiting – Mariqueen Maandig’s voice works wonderfully paired up with the bells on this. The track is short, but it accomplishes what it sets out to accomplish: it tells of the deep, rising, of something under the sun-dappled surface of the water, something old, something hungry.
  11. The Seconds Drag – One of the most straightforward and literal tracks on the album. A clock ticks as, well, the seconds drag. More percussive than most. Eventually, there’s some light programming that weaves into the ticking, but, in the end, the title says it all.
  12. Later Into The Night – Plodding and deliberate. The use of a simple, repeated melody really you to feel the passage of time. There’s a sense of maybe you’re closer to the machinery than you should be. Broken jack-in-the-box. All this, but it feels a bit thin, like something’s missing.
  13. Parallel Timeline With Alternate Outcome – The name is more interesting than the music, but just barely. One of the most varied tracks on the album, starting and ending in totally different places. It’s restful at first, warm, everything bad is happening on the outside, in the cold. This is like walking through a forest, beautiful yet eerie, then finding a body…first a cloud of flies, then a bloodstained shoe, then a second shoe with a foot still inside it… then a whole pile of bodies. The end guitar is fucking terrifying. Another great end to an act.

 

Disc 3

 

  1. Another Way Of Caring – This is a rape carnival. Plinking, wandering notes taken right from a child’s nightmare meander throughout this along with big, disharmonious strings and creepy, out of tune piano, scaring the shit out of anyone happening by. Welcome to the final act/disc…we’re having some problems.   
  2. A Viable Construct – More tech sounding than most of what we’ve heard thus far. Somehow feels reminiscent of ‘The Terminator’…
  3. Revealed In The Thaw – The last patch of warmth on a very cold, very bleak journey. We’re not quite safe yet. Maybe we’ve found a place to catch our breath, but that incessant thudding let’s us know it isn’t over yet, there’s still something outside…and we’ll have to face it before all this is over/
  4. Millennia – The passage of time as see from a great height.
  5. We Could Wait Forever – Another tech-heavy track, one with a lot of error messages. One can envision a large, rubbery tube leading into a room full of malfunctioning mainframes. Perhaps there was a Freon leak, because everything is tinted blue.
  6. Oraculum – Does Industrial Bhangra make sense? This is the most energetic (and longest) track on the album and is so disparate from anything else…I have no idea where it’s coming from or where it’s going…but I’m willing to bet they serve couscous there. One can almost dance to this, if there tried hard enough.
  7. Great Bird Of Prey – After the most energetic track, we now have the most literal. One can actually hear majestic, deadly birds circling high in the air… And just as things start to sound like they’re getting typical around the end…the track explodes.
  8. The Heretics – Yet another techy track on a disc full of techy tracks. I can’t help but think of “Ringfinger” when I hear this. This would be the most interesting piece on someone else’s project, but on this album, among the others jewels found here, it’s merely good. You can really feel the space that Reznor and Ross talked about in this track.
  9. A Pair Of Doves - Just as airy and graceful as the title denotes…but short. An interlude almost.
  10. Infiltrator – Here’s another electronic track. There’s a great, loose bolt sound in this. It creates a sense of “if we keep going at this speed, something is going to fall apart”.
  11. The Sound Of Forgetting – The sound of someone slamming a tool against the obdurate past. The sound of forgetting, not forgiving. The high notes alleviate some of the guilt and pain, but nothing can erase it.
  12. Of Secrets – To end the album, which is comprised mostly of odd, obsolete, frozen instruments, there’s hardly any instrumentation at all, just a rising and falling of static; building to a climax, then pulling back, like a frozen sea, only to rise and rise and rise until…nothing. A simple and amazing ending to one of the most incredible sonic sojourns you’ll ever take.
  13. Is Your Love Strong Enough? – A coda.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Subject:The Truth Is Out There...In Your Mom's Vagina
Time:7:59 pm.
12.19.12
4:46 pm
 
A few days ago, I watched the last Fincher film I’ll watch for a while (unless I remember to watch the one about Buttons and Brad Pitt), Zodiac.
Below are my smattering of notes…
 
It’s shot beautifully, as all his stuff. Every scene is massively detailed.
If awards were given for how good a film looks, hen clap for this one, but, after a serial killer movie like Se7en, is there really any point to keep making them?
 
Nark Ruffalo is excellent, loved every minute of him (but I still don’t love him for Bruce Banner).
His back and forth with Anthony Edwards (NNNNNEEEERRRRRDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!) is great and as natural as Fincher could have dreamed.
 
Chloë Sevigny looks (relatively) normal for once…but she’s still kind of a bitch.
 
And Charles Fleischer is astounding. I’d never want to be in a basement (even such a well-lit and set-dressed basement as this one) with him.
He’s terrifying.
But I’d still rather hang out with this creepy Charlie Fleischer than the one from his weird ass talk show.
Hyperactive little spaz.
 
You can feel the passage of time like a mofo in this movie.
From 1968 to 1991, you feel it.
Crazy…
 
In the end though, true stories that have no real ending aren’t my favorites.
Even with Donovan on the soundtrack.
 
I’ve also been rewatching X-Files and some diamonds have revealed themselves…either because of their awesomeness or their outright oddness.
 
First off, there was an episode in the second season called “3”, which is kind of like a Brett Easton Ellis homage.
It features Mulder having sex with some kind of vampire chick for no real reason while fires rage in the hills of Los Angels.
Scully gets abducted for six measly months and Mulder gets all existential and nilistic…
Very odd episode…
 
Then there is the classic, “Irresistable”, which introduced Donnie Pfaster, the “escalating fetishist” who starts off cutting the hair of a dead teenage girl, then digging up graves and taking hair, fingernails and occasionally a finger and then picking up prostitutes in order to kill them simply to obtain their hair and nails. This actor, Nick Chinlund, is PERFECT for the role and reminds me a bit of Crispin (Hellion) Glover, but less theatrically creepy and more death-sex-fetishist-next-door creepy.
You know.
Scully is so vulnerable in this…it’s heartbreaking to see her so scared.
 
Then there’s the episode I watched just today.
It’s called “Humbug” and it’s Chris Carter’s love letter to sideshows, starring Jim Rose, The Enigma, the midget from Twin Peaks and a whle bunch of other awesome actors.
The whole thing is tongue in cheek and funny as hell.
And there is some sort of aborted looking monkey monster.
Which is good.
 
And, finally, I returned to Bang studios downtown this morning for my second Speakaboos recording in as many weeks.
I was another slew of characters; a fox (a Paul Lind fox which is like a regular fox but more sassy), three different pigs, a newt, another monkey, two different narrators, Old MacDonald, the Speakaboos dragon and…more.
As for before, it was exhausting and the most fun I’ve had in a booth in a while AND I’m coming back in January!
WOO!!!
SPEAKABOOS!!!!
And, you know what’s supergreat about this?
Speakaboos is about teaching kids to read, so, in the end, I’m helping kids be less stupid.
And that is all I’ve ever wanted to do, make people a little less stupid.
Merry Christmas, future.
You’re welcome.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Subject:A review of David Fincher's "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"
Time:10:11 pm.
Last night, a few friends and I were lucky enough to get into the Mouth Taped Shut New York screening of David Fincher’s “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”.
And here’s how it went.
 
Note: I’m going to try and not lean on “here’s how this one was different from/better than the original film/the book, but it’ll happen from time to time.
Also, there are lots of spoilers, so, be warned.
 
After a little more than an hour out in the cold, we were ushered into the theater, stripped of our cell phones and given a free Dragon Tattoo poster (the same one that was going for fifteen or twenty dollars at the Hard X Mouth Taped Shut events…which were kind of pointless, by the way).
Right around ten o’clock, a man showed up and told us to look on the back of seats for an “X”, and that whoever was in or closest to that seat would get a free “razor blade” Dragon Tattoo poster…signed by Trent Reznor.
I was not that person.
 
Then the lights dimmed and, after a short scene introducing Henrik Vanger, Dectective Morell and a pressed flower in a picture frame…the title sequence began.
A few days ago a “mysterious video” was posted on Pitchfork that served as a sort of music video for Karen O., Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ cover of “Immigrant Song”; it turns out this was merely a blurred glimpse at the full, mind-blowing title sequence for the film.
I won’t spoil it for you, I’ll simply say everything is made of technology and tar and hands and nightmares and your head will explode after watching it.
While it isn’t as pivotal to the plot as the opening sequences of Fincher’s other films such as “Fight Club”, in which the viewer is taken from the part of “Jack’s” brain where Tyler Durden exists, to the opening shot of the film or “Se7en”, in which the viewer sees John Doe and the creation of his notebooks, it’s certainly just as visually stunning, if not more so.
The images in it and their thematic relation to the film almost make it seem more like the opening credits to one of the recent Bond film (there’s even Daniel Craig).
 
After this intro, the film begins.
 
On the whole, the film has an excellent flow to it; introducing both main characters, disgraced journalist Mikael Blomkvist and anti-social hacker/master researcher Lisbeth Salander, then slowly bringing them together about halfway through the film in a wonderfully awkward scene involving lesbianism. While Daniel Craig delivers a rock solid performance as the harried, world weary Blomkvist, Rooney Mara’s Lisbeth Salander is the obvious star here. From the first time you see her hollow, hungry face, you really can’t take your eyes off her. You’ll notice something new about her, some little detail, every time you see her. She manages to steal just about every scene she’s in, sometimes merely by being there, silently staring with her huge, angry eyes. That is, by the way, not a slight to the rest of the cast, more a credit to Mara’s screen presence.
Christopher Plummer’s Henrik Vanger is replete with aged, brittle dignity, Stellan Skarsgård’s Martin Vanger is polite and charming, even when he’s psychotic and brutal (his “conversation” with Blomkvist in the exceptionally designed kill room hidden beneath his home is bone-chilling…and he doesn’t raise his voice once. It also brings up some interesting, baffling questions regarding human nature) and Yorick van Wageningen as Nils Bjurman…well, I hope this fat, scummy fuck enjoys typecasting, because he is perfect in this role, so much so that the first time he appears on screen, the entire audience bristled with discomfort and disgust, and when Lisbeth hits him with her taser at the top of her revenge scene, the audience cheered. Maybe he and Dylan Baker (the pedophile/psychiatrist from 1998’s Happiness) can start a Were-So-Good-At-Playing-Horrific-Inhuman-Mosters-On-Film-That-You’ll-Never-See-Us-As-Anything-Else-Ever-Again Club…the first rule of which is you don’t talk about it…
The plethora of awful-yet-necessary research scenes from the book are present and accounted for, given more screen time than one would think to give to characters starring at books and computers, but they’re actually made bearable (not quite enjoyable, but bearable) by the accompanying music and cinematography. As I always say, if you must have a library research scene, make sure it’s scored by Trent Reznor and directed by David Fincher.
 
Not everything about the movie was great though…
After reading a few interviews with Fincher and his production team, I’d have thought that Sweden and its cold, desolate environs would have played more of a character in the film, but I was a bit let down to find that wasn’t the case. Remember when Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman walked into the Gluttony crime scene in “Se7en”? Remember how the lighting was practically a character in the room with them? I never really got a sense of that in Dragon Tattoo. The whole thing was shot beautifully, but, aside from a few moments here and there (Bjurman’s bound foot, passing in front of the light during Lisbeth’s revenge scene, that first shot of Henrik’s massive mansion sliding towards the viewer like a predator), nothing took my breath away.
 
I will say that the score lowered the temperature of the whole film by about fifty degrees. Reznor and Ross spoke about “experimenting with space” this time around, but, more than space, I think they’ve harnessed the ability to actually lower the temperature of the listener. Almost every one of the thirty-nine tracks on the score has an inescapably chilly feel to it, whether it’s the dynamic, crashing “A Thousand Details” or the Akira Yamaoka-esque “With The Files”, you can feel a bitter wind blowing while you listen to their compositions.
Unlike they’re work on “The Social Network” score, this time around, the music fits the subject matter perfectly. Don’t get me wrong, the “Social Network” score was groundbreaking, “The Social Network” was excellent, but the “Social Network” score in “The Social Network”? Honestly, it never worked for me.
Let me put it another way: I could picture different, more typical music behind “The Social Network” (more along the lines of that Elvis Costello song originally slated for the opening scene), but I cannot imagine “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” without the Reznor/Ross score. It is married to the film and vice versa.
Basically, David Fincher commissioned Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross to make a “Ghosts I-IV” just for him, “Ghosts V-VIII”, if you will (“But, Trent, could you use a hammered dulcimer rather than a marimba?”).
The only downside to the music was that Fincher didn’t use nearly enough of it.
Admittedly, I didn’t have the cue list and the liner notes with me at the screening, but I’ve been listening to nothing but the score for the past five days and I could have sworn they didn’t use more than a quarter of it. Some of my favorite tracks (“A Thousand Details”, “An Itch”, “Hypomania”, “Parallel Timelines With Alternate Outcomes”) weren’t used at all, while several tracks (“Hidden In Snow”, “Under The Midnight Sun”, “She Reminds Me Of You”) were used more than once (or twice, in some scenes).
In the end though, what they did use and where they chose to use it, for the most part, worked perfectly.
I’m very much looking forward to a commentary track with Reznor and Ross when this is released on disc.
 
Two more tiny things before I wrap this up: first, there’s a nice little nod to Nine Inch Nails when Lisbeth first visits Plague (hint hint), and, second, this movie has some of the best cat acting I’ve seen in a while, since “Cat’s Eye” perhaps…
 
Overall, this movie is complex and beautiful, and the interactions between Fincher’s Salander and Blomkvist work for me more than Niels Arden Oplev’s (there’s a cute moment when Lisbeth tells Mikael in her solemn, little voice to “put your hand back inside my shirt”), plus, Fincher gets the ending from the book perfectly.
And I’m a huge Nine Inch Nails fan who hasn’t missed an update to Comes Forth In The Thaw since it popped up about a month and a half ago.
At its heart, this is a bigger, slicker version of the Swedish film from two years ago, give or take several million dollars.
I’m not going to say “Noomi who?” when it comes to her portrayal of Lisbeth, but Rooney Mara is pretty incredible in this.
Fincher focuses more on the characters while Oplev focuses more on the world of the characters.
Bottom line? Although this movie is truly excellent, I don’t see the need for it.
Yes, I’m glad for nearly three hours of new music from one of my favorite artists.
Yes, I’m glad David Fincher is getting some well earned love from the critics.
Yes, I’m not a huge fan of movies with subtitles (not a comment on foreign films, they’re distracting is all).
But this movie didn’t need to be remade, just as a lot of people don’t think “Let The Right One In” needed to be remade.
 
All that said, this is just my opinion.
If you want to see it, go see it.
If you’re incensed it exists, don’t go see it.
But, here are some facts: because of this remake, David Fincher gets more freedom in the studio system, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross are going to create more insane, landmark score work and people who would never in their lives think to read a book about Swedish finance, hacking and misogyny are going to be exposed to something that isn’t fucking Twilight.
People, this is a win.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, December 10th, 2011

Subject:Things.
Time:12:24 am.
12.9.12
3:55 pm
 
Things and stuff, actually.
 
This…has been a very long week.
Very.
TWO reasons.
First, the impending release of nearly three hours of new music from one of my favorite artists, which made the minutes pass like hours, and second, the fact that my Speakaboos booking (which I found out about last week) was scheduled from 9 am to 11 am this morning.
And this wasn’t a job where I could gruff my way through like Harley-Davidson or Comcast, a job in which my thick, sleepy voice was just what the client ordered; I was to voice nine separate characters with varying tones, timbres and ranges.
It was actually to be a challenge.
So, since last Sunday, I’ve been going to sleep and waking up an hour earlier every day this week.
I must say, it has been quite a harrowing experience; in some ways good (the massive amounts of time I have before going to work- I did laundry!) and in some ways bad (the pervasive feeling that I was slowly losing my god damn mind as the people around me were turning into tentacular abominations).
It’s certainly helped me to understand why so many of you folks that work a 9 to 5 every day of every week are such blistering assholes.
Sorry, such high-strung, blistering assholes.
I also understand why you all drink so much coffee.
Because you’re weak.
Anyway, this recording was excellent, one of the best I’ve had in a while.
Unlike the well-paying but overall unexciting/undemanding Comcast/Cablevision stuff, this was fun as hell. I gave these characters character, some inspired by my favorites voice actors over the years, some pure me.
Pure. Throbbing. Me.
The segments I worked on (Humpty Dumpty- the egg creature, not the lead singer of Digital Underground, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, Chicken Little, The Three Little Pigs, Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, and the Tortoise and the Hare) should be on the Speakaboos website (www.speakaboos.com) in about a month or so.
I’ll be sure to keep you posted.
 
In honor of my weird week of fucked up sleep, I decided to rewatch the X-Files…all 202 episodes (and two movies).
Jenna was right, some of these first season episodes are GARBAGE*.
But Mulder and Scully are just so cute!
And, is it weird that Scully carrying a Walther is arousing?
Something about a hot redhead carrying James Bond’s trademark gun…I don’t know…gets my pickle tickled.
But I digress…sexily.
I’m not sure if I’m going to (be able to) keep up this new sleeping/waking regimen, but we’ll see.
Another thing it’s allowed me to accomplish and a big pebble in the “Pros” jar, is work on some music for a project I’m calling “the Tucker EP”.
Basically, it’s music (all instrumental and created under my ‘pseudonymous’ moniker, no diarrhea here) inspired by Phil’s books.
Aside from the Grind Show theme, nothing else is completed, but I have a few sketches.
Between ProTools and my newly acquired Kaoss pad (thanks again, Will), well, like He-Man, I have the power.
The power to make some badass, creepy drones.
HEAVY DROP!
DUB STEP!!!
GLASS KNIVES!!!!!!
If I do end up getting an iPad, I think I’ll have enough tools to build something interesting.
I just have to stop trying to emulate Trent fucking Reznor.
I’ve finally found a down side to listening to Nine Inch Nails for all these years:  I’m thinking/composing like him, but with the scantest fraction of the tools/talent at his disposal.
Mm.
Who knows, I have like, three friends who know NIN, so maybe it’s not such a problem.
We’ll find out when the lawsuits start rolling in.
 
Tomorrow evening, I will be in attendance at Kaitlyn’s birthday party and, before that, some event relating in some way to the new Dragon tattoo movie. It’s called Hard X Mouth Taped Shut and I’m not 100% what it is.
But they have some cool looking t-shirts and I want one.
 
God I’m exhausted…
 
All right, no more finger talk.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
* Their homage to Carpenter’s “The Thing” was pretty great though.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

Subject:The World Of Froud
Time:9:07 pm.
12.2.11
7:46 pm

Last night, thanks to my lovely taking an amazing puppet/creature crafting class with Wendy and Brian Froud (check out her Facebook for picture of the thing she made, it's astounding), her and I were invited to the opening of the World of Froud exhibit at the Animazing Gallery downtown.
Some highlights included seeing several of Brian's original character sketches from Labyrinth as well as a slew of goblin and faerie paintings and sculptures by Wendy, Brian and Toby (who played Toby AKA the Babe with the Power in Labyrinth and has since become an INCREDIBLE sculptor), participating in an auction run by Lolly Lardpop for a one-of-a-kind Brian Froud painting (Chris and I capped our bidding at $3500 and missed out by $250...we're still kind of fifty/fifty about not getting it...), and then, because of our high bidding, spending the rest of the evening as VIPs of sorts, getting to hang out and talk with Heather Henson (Jim Henson's daughter who sounds a hell of a lot like Sarah Vowell but without her inherent darkness), writer Ellen Kushner and the one and only Brian Froud.
I had a conversation with Brian Froud, the guy from whose imagination most of the creatures from Labyrinth sprang.
I am now cooler.
It was a wonderful, magical evening.


In far more mundane news, I have continued my Fincher Fest, watching Panic Room two nights ago and Fight Club last night.
Panic Room is much better than I remembered it being and I think I figured out why I had such a problem with it when I saw it in theaters, oh, nine years ago.
Thing is, Fight Club desensitized me.
That movie was as mind blowing as anything Chris Nolan has ever done, even more so, and the fact that the next movie after it was shot (primarily) in one room in one house with a cast of less than ten people...well, it just didn't stack up.
But, seeing it now, as an adult and more of a film person (?), I was able to get a lot more of the nuance, the back and forth between Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart (excellent casting, by the way, they look like mother and daughter), the schizophrenic hysterics of Jared Leto's Junior and the evil of Dwight Yoakam's Raoul.
Obviously, still not as great as Fight Club, but a very good, very well-made film.

Fight Club, of course, is still as excellent as always.
The perfect blend of dark humor, intense action and ridiculous visual effects.
I'm upgrading to Blu Ray as soon as I get the chance.
Also, I remember hearing this on the commentary with Fincher, Pitt and Norton when I watched it with their commentary years ago and it came back to me: despite all the madness and chaos and anarchic overtones of Fight Club, only ONE person is actually killed by violence in the entire movie.
Another person is shot, but that's all.
Compare that to your typical action hero bloodbath and complaining about Fight Club suddenly seems a bit pointless, eh, right-wing fuckos?
Do you mind if I call you fuckos?
Thanks.

Anyway, planning on taking in Se7en for the umpteenth time this weekend and maybe Get Low, which has finally made its way to my home after months of blockage due to me not watching Re-Animator and the HBO Angels In America mini-series.
Next week should herald the arrival of both Zodiac and The Something Something Something Of Benjamin Button, which I hear was also pretty awesome.

I received my script for next Friday's Speakaboos session; I shall play six characters and all of them will sound drastically different.
THIS is why I'm doing this, for projects like THIS.
Teaching kids to read and talking in funny voices.
You know, I had a good feeling when I walked out of that audition, but didn't hear anything so I just chalked it up to fools not understanding my genius (a problem I face, literally, every hour of every day...and that includes the ten or so during which I am sleeping), but then I got the booking and realized that they were all probably still unconscious from the exposure to my genius and quickly forgave them.
I am kind and ridiculously talented.
Also modest.
I am hugely modest.
And well hung.
Have I mentioned that recently?
Well, either way.
I am.
Huge.

Since about midnight last night, I have been absorbing the six track sampler released in advance of the full Dragon Tattoo score (digital release on the 9th, physical release on the 27th) and have been experiencing a sort of aural word association with some of the tracks:

Hidden In Snow - Aphex Twin's Drukqs (specifically the stuff with the hammered dulcimer)
People Lie All The Time - Saul William's Skin Of A Drum
What If We Could? - No association, just caught up in how beautiful and sad it is
Oraculum - How To Destroy Angels' The Believers
Please Take Your Hand Away - No association as this was one of the Comes Forth In he Thaw tracks
Under The Midnight Sun - Bowie's The Motel (specifically the slide guitar from the end)

At this moment, with seven of the thirty-nine* tracks revealed (the full Karen O. "Immigrant Song" cover is available for a buck on iTunes), it seems as if, while the Swarmatron was Reznor and Ross' weapon of choice on The Social Network score, the hammered dulcimer is the selection for TGWTDT.
Quite frankly, I'm going to need some psychotically explosive guitar like that in the more exciting bits of the 8-minute trailer you can find streaming out there now.
Then we'll talk...
 
Oh, and, finally, you might have noticed that this is going up between the hours of 3pm and 11pm, my standard working hours...well, that's because we just got us a motherloving computer with the motherloving internet here at the Hospital.**
But, there are quite a few administrative restrictions...chiefly enforced by Barracuda.
Anyone know a way to get past it?
I'm quickly becoming a detractor of said program and, as a result, the fish which shares its name.
Will, could you drop Mr. Doom a line and help a brother out?
If you do, you won't just be helping me, you'll be helping yourself find out more about Shock G.
That's a promise.

All right.
Weekend time.








*Read as "thirty-holy-fucking-shit-nine"

**And don't worry, I'm utterly disintegrating the cookies/cache file/temporary internet files and everything else that could expose my three dozen searches for variations on the "clowns fucking dolphins" motif...hey, a new computer demands a new desktop background, right?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Subject:End of the Month Music Bitchfest - November
Time:12:16 am.
It's Stove Top, bitch.
 
Nine Inch Nails
On November 17th, Reznor posted that he had just finished sequencing the Dragon Tattoo score...and that it clocks in at two hours and forty minutes.
Then, on November 18th he took that back and said, with transitions, it was no clocking in at two hours and fifty five minutes.
Which means I was wrong when I postulated that this was to be a double album.
It's going to be a triple album.
If he releases one more triple album before the end of the year...he'll officially be Prince.
He also states that more information will be available on December 2nd and the Internet Rumor Mill states that the score itself will be out on December 5th.
Right after this is posted.
Dick.
Based on the way things went down with the Social Network score, this is probably going to include some free tracks from the score, the complete tracklisting (replete with ridiculously overwrought titles) and purchase/pre-order options.
Fingers crossed for another Blu-Ray with a 5.1 mix on it...
 
And the music on Comes Forth In The Thaw dot com continues to evolve weekly.
Once the album comes out, these songs will appear in their final versions, static, unchanging, but, now, on this site, people get to experience something like an exploded view of this new music as it changes and develops into something different.
It makes one feel like they're a part of something living as opposed to just a consumer buying a product.
 
In addition to his news about finishing the score, Reznor states that, with Dragon Tattoo out the door to be mastered, he's 100% focused on mixing the full length How To Destroy Angels album.
Let us give thanks...and pray it's out before 2013.
Amen.
 
Beck
Listen up, you goddamn hippy asshole...cut your hair and get a job.
Then release some fucking music.
Stoner.
 
They Might Be Giants
Between the more or less solid "Album Raises New And Troubling Questions" and their eternal, insufferable touring, these guys are doing what they should.
And, in a little over two months, I'll be in California to see them doing it.
 
Eels
You know, the epic nature of THREE albums in FOURTEEN MONTHS still has yet to lose its luster. That plus everything else that's going on (see entry for Nine Inch Nails), I'm totally willing to give E another few months. Enjoy, you sullen, bearded bastard, enjoy.
 
Cake
Something.
Actually something.
Something small, but something nonetheless.
Cake is shooting a video to their third and, most likely, final single from their January 2011 release, Showroom of Compassion, "Moustache Man (Wasted)".
They sent out a call for men and women with moustaches and those creepy rape-vans from the 70's that often times have murals painted on the sides.
Should be a fun one.
Cake's music videos are pretty hit or miss, but those that hit, hit well.
And they are still touring, mostly the West Coast.
No news about that (fake) new album they mentioned back in May. 
 
In other news...
Marilyn Manson regained consciousness in a small, cardboard box, croaked once, broke wind, then passed out again.
 
Garbage is still doing whatever bands actually do in that huge gulf of time between the completion of their album and its release. Photo shoots, interviews, hair appointments, ...buying...jars of...hands...
Look, just put the fucking thing out already.
It's done.
You're not going to suddenly garner more fans in five months.
If people like you and/or remember you, they'll listen, if not, they won't.
If the album is great, new listeners will hear about it and join the party.
Word of mouth, you silly bitches, WORD OF MOUTH.
JFC*... 
You came out in 1995, disappeared for six years and now you're back.
Just make an amazing album, that's all you can really do.
 
The Charlotte Gainsbourg double album, Stage Whisper, is coming out on December 13th.
One disc is a live CD and the other is b-sides and leftovers from various places, including her "IRM" sessions, featuring the closest thing to new Beck music that anyone will hear ever again.
Which is sad, but good...like a priest having an orgasm.
 
Tweaker still has that sassy little message (tweaker will return in 2011) up on their home page, but, you know, that's kind of milky.
I mean...technically, since all the members of the group are still alive, they never really went anywhere and as they have been making new Tweaker music in 2011, then, yes, Tweaker has returned in 2011...but...well...is the album coming out in 2011 or what?
Vrenna has posted a few times that "you are going to love the guests on the new album". and yeah, obviously he thinks that.
I mean, is he really going to be like, "Well...we're happy, but you all might have some doubts..."?
Underneath that post is a link to their (oddly) still active "vote for who you want on the new Tweaker album" poll.
Nine Inch Nails has 51 votes, and everyone else has 13 or under.
I wonder if Tweaker will take the hint...
What they're missing, friends, is clarification.
And you know how much I hates that.
A much.
A so much.
That's how much I hates that.
Hopefully, in our next Bitchfest, we'll have a brand new Tweaker album to complain about.

Cavalcade of Link
The Null Corporation (come December 2nd, shits gonna go OFF)
 
12.1.11
12:38 am
ADDENDUM!!!!!!
Two things:
First, Chris Vrenna left Marilyn Manson (ther band, not the unconscious self-aggrandizing flop) which is great and the three-disc "Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" score is available for pre-order on amazon.com for $27.50 right now. It will be released (on disc) on the 27th of December.

 
 3:14 am
Just as I fucking thought...I post this and all hell breaks loose...
So, Reznor tweeted that he and some others are working on packaging for all SIX vinyls and THEN How To Destroy Angels tweeted that they've contributed a cover of Bryan Ferry's "Is Your Love Strong Enough?" to the fucking soundtrack as well.
Hey...go buy this thing when it's out....assholes...

 
 
 
 
 
*Jesus Fucking Christ (patent pending)
Comments: Add Your Own.

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